Individual or Couples Therapy? How to Decide What's Best for Your Relationship

Written by Seth Taylor, ALMFT

Relationships can be complex and challenging; sometimes, couples may face difficulties requiring professional help. When seeking therapy for relationship issues, it's common to wonder whether individual or couples therapy is the best approach. Both options can be beneficial, but it's essential to consider certain factors to determine which may be more appropriate for your situation. In this blog post, we will explore the differences between individual and couples therapy and provide references to help you make an informed decision.

Individual Therapy

Individual therapy, or one-on-one therapy, focuses on the individual's thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and aims to improve their mental health and well-being. Individual therapy can be helpful for a wide range of issues, including anxiety, depression, trauma, self-esteem, and personal growth.

Couples Therapy

Couples therapy, also known as relationship therapy or marriage counseling, involves partners working with a therapist to address issues in their relationship. It focuses on the couple's dynamics, communication patterns, problem-solving skills, and emotional connection. Couples therapy can help address communication difficulties, conflict, infidelity, trust issues, and improve overall relationship satisfaction.

How to Decide What's Best for Your Relationship

Should I go to individual therapy or couples therapy? Deciding between individual and couples therapy depends on various factors, and carefully considering your unique situation is essential. Here are some ideas and references to help you determine which approach may be more appropriate for you and your partner(s):

1. Assess the Nature of the Issues

Consider the nature and scope of the issues you face as a couple. Individual therapy may be a good starting point if the problems primarily involve unique struggles, such as mental health concerns, personal trauma, or self-esteem issues. Individual therapy can help each partner work on their unique challenges and develop coping skills to impact their relationship positively.

2. Evaluate Communication and Conflict Resolution Skills

Reflect on your communication and conflict resolution skills as a couple. Couples therapy may be more suitable if there are ongoing communication difficulties, escalating conflicts, or a lack of practical problem-solving skills. Couples therapy can provide a safe space for partners to improve their communication, learn healthy conflict-resolution skills, and strengthen their emotional connection.

3. Consider Motivation and Willingness

Consider the motivation and willingness of each partner to engage in therapy. All partners must be willing to participate actively, be open to feedback, and work towards positive change. If one partner is unwilling or resistant to participate in couples therapy, individual therapy may be an excellent option to work on their challenges. However, it's essential to remember that couples therapy typically involves the participation of all partners to address relational dynamics effectively.

4. Seek Professional Support

Consulting a qualified mental health professional can provide valuable guidance in determining the best approach for your relationship. An experienced relationship therapist can assess your unique situation, provide tailored recommendations, and help you make an informed decision.

Takeaways

Deciding between individual and couples therapy can be significant for people seeking support to address their relationship issues. It's crucial to carefully assess the nature of the problems, evaluate communication and conflict resolution skills, consider motivation and willingness, and seek professional advice to determine the most appropriate approach. It's also essential to remember that each relationship is unique, and what works for one couple may not work for another. With the right approach and professional support, couples can improve their relationship and achieve their desired outcomes.

Remember, seeking therapy is a courageous step towards improving your relationship, and various resources are available, including affordable options, online therapy, and community-based counseling programs. Don't hesitate to reach out for help when needed, and remember that you and your partner deserve support and care in your journey toward a healthier and happier relationship.

Wondering About Relationship Therapy? Here are 3 Myths to Debunk

Relationship therapy is a great tool that, unfortunately, is often stigmatized and surrounded by myths that disincentivize people from utilizing it. Some of these myths include that relationship therapy is only for those on the brink of divorce, that relationship therapy is a cop out from fixing the problem yourselves, that a stranger couldn’t possibly help your relationship, and that the therapist will take sides or favor one partner over the other. Here are some of the most common myths; let’s breakdown why each one is incorrect.

1) Relationship therapy is only for those on the brink of divorce

While some people certainly go to therapy as a last resort to avoid the end of the relationship, that is far from the only valid reason to try relationship therapy. Perhaps you need to fine tune communication skills, or maybe there’s a desire discrepancy negatively impacting your sex life, or maybe you’re struggling to feel connected following the birth of a child; these examples and dozens more have the potential to benefit from relationship therapy.

2) Relationship therapy is a cop out from fixing the problem yourselves

Asking for help is not a weakness, it’s a strength. There is a reason that tools like relationship therapy exist; they’re there to be used, and they’re there because they have a documented history of helping people. Not only does a therapist bring their expertise to the table that people without formal psychological training don’t usually have, but they also serve as a mediator to try to ensure that all parties are not only heard, but understood. Wellness experts like personal trainers and physicians are much less stigmatized even though their role is similar to a relationship therapist’s in that their expertise facilitates their clients’ wellness. The choice to seek help from an expert is smart, not weak.

3) The therapist will take sides or favor one partner over the other(s) (especially if attending therapy was initiated by one more than the other(s))

In a successful therapeutic dynamic, this should not be the case. Ideally, everyone should feel heard and validated, and the therapist’s role is to facilitate that. Taking one side over another would only serve to alienate someone and therefore undermine the goal of the therapy.

Despite the stigma, relationship therapy is nothing to be ashamed of and with the right therapist, it can be a powerful tool. If you’re interested in learning more about whether or not relationship therapy is a good fit for you, reach out to Embrace Sexual Wellness.

What Do You Look for in a Therapist?

Finding a therapist is no easy feat. From insurance to personality compatibility to coordinating schedules, searching for the right mental health professional can be understandably overwhelming. This article is meant to guide you through the process, covering how to find the right fit, how to tell if they’re the right fit, and how to measure quality of care.

Where to begin your search

• Word of mouth is a great way to find therapists in your area, especially if the recommendation comes from someone who knows you and your needs well. If you do want to pursue a recommendation from a friend, make sure you check that it’s not a conflict of interest to see the same therapist. 

• If you are insured, a good place to start is your insurance company’s directory of in-network professionals. 

• If you are uninsured or you’re looking for alternative search engine options, here are some alternative places to look for a therapist.

  • Open Path Collective

    1. “Open Path Psychotherapy Collective is a nonprofit nationwide network of mental health professionals dedicated to providing in-office and online mental health care—at a steeply reduced rate—to clients in need.” 

  • Inclusive Therapists

    1. “Seeking therapy can be a vulnerable process. We understand. We aim to make it simpler and safer for people in marginalized communities. Find a culturally responsive, 2SLGBTQ+ affirming therapist that celebrates your full identity” 

  • APA Psychologist Locator

    1. APA is the leading scientific and professional organization representing psychology in the United States, with more than 133,000 researchers, educators, clinicians, consultants, and students as its members.

  • TherapyDen

    1. “We are an online community of mental health professionals seeking to make the experience of finding a therapist easy.” 

  • Therapy For Black Girls

    1. “So often the stigma surrounding mental health issues and therapy prevents Black women from taking the step of seeing a therapist. This space was developed to present mental health topics in a way that feels more accessible and relevant.”

Considerations for your search parameters

• Finding the name of a therapist is one thing, but it’s an entire other thing to find a therapist who works for you and your needs.  

• When you’re considering what might make a therapist a good fit for you, think first of whether or not you have any identity preferences such as gender or race that would allow a therapist to relate to certain experiences. 

• Before meeting with a therapist, try to do initial phone screenings of several options to ask about their specialties, whether they have experience with your specific issues, what structure their sessions usually follow, and any other information that you might need. 

• Logistical factors you may need to take into consideration are location, cost, mutual schedule availability, and the therapist’s availability outside of sessions, such as for emergencies. 

How to tell if they’re the right fit

• You feel comfortable being vulnerable around them (at least relative to others)

•  They have strong, clearly communicated boundaries about their policies and personal life

• You are able to share concerns about the therapeutic relationship and they respond with openness and a desire to problem solve 

• They respect your values and identity 

• They guide you to your goals and coach you to be able to make your own decisions 

• They challenge you in constructive ways. For example, they might ask you to reconsider a self-deprecating statement and work to get to the root of the thought in order to unpack it

Signs that they’re not a good fit

• They judge you or shame you 

• They have no experience with your issue(s)

• They overshare about themselves

• They tell you what to do rather than guiding you to make your own decisions

• You regularly feel worse after your session

It will take some time to find a therapist who works for you and when you’re in need of help, that can be discouraging. Perhaps try asking a trusted friend or family member to aid you in your search and/or ask them to sit with you for moral support while you do it. Once you do find a good therapist, it will be worth it. Simply wanting to seek help is a huge first step so show yourself gratitude for taking the time to read this. If you are seeking therapy for concerns related to sexuality or your relationships, consider reaching out to Embrace Sexual Wellness to see if our team might be a good fit for you.