Looking to Enjoy Sex When Trying to Conceive? Here Are 4 Tips

Conceiving is an exciting time for a lot of reasons, but sexiness isn’t generally known as one of them. The process of trying to conceive for some can border on business at times between tactics like tracking ovulation cycles and scheduling sex. Regardless of efficacy, this definitely takes some of the fun and pleasure out of sex and it can start to feel like more of a chore than anything else. Having sex with a goal doesn’t mean it has to be devoid of fun! Here are some tips for enjoying sex while conceiving is on the brain:

1) Switch it up

• Perhaps an obvious point, but an important one nonetheless, keep it fresh! Whether that means trying out sex toys, new positions, BDSM/kink, shared erotica or porn, new times of day, or another tactic, keeping it fresh will help retain the excitement that sex brings.

2) Try to enjoy the journey even though the motivation behind the sex is destination-oriented

• When you’re having sex more frequently than you might otherwise, it’s tempting to want to cut to the chase and skip the foreplay. All this will do in reality is diminish your enjoyment, and potentially make it harder to have sex at all; for instance, if you can’t produce lubrication because you haven’t had enough foreplay, penetration might not work at all. All this is to say that foreplay is worth the time and will make sex feel less like a chore. Furthermore, it will help you feel more connected to your partner and more at ease.

• A related point is to try to have both “goal oriented” sex for your conception journey and additionally, sex just for fun. If all your sex is goal oriented, the stress and pressure begins to be associated with sex might serve to discourage you from having it.

3) Spontaneity versus scheduling

• There are pros and cons to spontaneous sex versus scheduling sex. Spontaneous sex might feel more natural and less pressured, while scheduling sex allows for synchronicity with fertility cycles. Ultimately, it will depend on the personalities of the people in the relationship which one works better, but leave the door open for a combination of both (or at least try not to get stuck in the thought that one is empirically better than the other).

4) Spend some time apart

• This might seem counterintuitive to your ultimate goal but in fact, time apart will allow you both to have more “me time” to care for yourself. Conceiving to have a child is not only a physically process but an intensely emotional one and you owe it to yourself to care for yourself properly. Additionally, too much time together can be suffocating and make it hard to feel sexy when the time comes, so do yourself a favor and spend time alone.

Congratulations on your decision to try to conceive, and hopefully some of these tips will help you ensure that the journey is as enjoyable as possible while getting you where you want to be! If you continue to struggle to enjoy sex while conceiving and it becomes an issue, consider speaking to a sex therapist like one of the professionals at Embrace Sexual Wellness.

How to Keep Kids Entertained During Holiday Breaks

The upside of the holiday season: your kids get off from school and you get to spend more time with them! The downside?... you have to figure out how to entertain them! The holidays are stressful enough without having to either brainstorm a million ideas for entertainment or surrendering yourself to the screens. Hopefully these ideas will give you a jumpstart, but it will be even more effective to ask your kids what they want to do. If they’re too young to come up with ideas, perhaps you can give them a couple options to choose between. Giving kids a sense of autonomy by inviting them to figure out how they want to spend their time will make them more engaged.

1) Involve them in holiday preparations like cooking and decorating.

• Making gifts, decorations, holiday cards, and wrapping paper from scratch

• Helping to plan the holiday dinner menu

• Baking holiday desserts and decorating cookies

2) Volunteer together. Some examples are…

• Serve food at a soup kitchen

• Pick out food, toys, and/or coats for a charity drive together

• Make holiday cards to drop off at a local senior home or hospital. Alternatively, you can do it through a program like Cardz For Kidz

3) Have an indoor picnic 

• Just because it’s winter time, doesn’t mean you have to miss out on picnicking! Put together a little snack plate, lay out a blanket, put on your favorite tunes and enjoy your picnic!

4) Paint snow

5) Set up a spa day

• Who doesn’t love to be pampered? Make some hot cocoa, slice some cucumbers, and buy a couple face masks to treat your kids to their very own spa.

6) Check out events at your local library or YMCA

7) Go on a nature walk

• For bonus points, look up a couple quick facts about local plants and animals to share!

We hope you find these suggestions helpful in keeping the kids entertained through creative activities during holiday breaks. Best of luck keeping them entertained and happy holidays!

Experiencing Depression During the Holidays? Here Are Four Tips for Staying Connected

It’s the time of year where the daylight is dwindling and the chill in the air disincentivizes adventuring outside of the house as much. In other words, it’s a perfect recipe for heightened depression. As we’ve discussed in a recent blog post, the holiday season is a particularly stressful one for most people. If you’re struggling with your depression these days, you’re not alone. These tips are not solutions but hopefully they’ll serve to make you more resilient against your depression.

1) Get outside

Easier said than done considering the chill in the air but one of the most important ways to care for yourself year-round is by getting outside. Sun and fresh air won’t solve all your problems, but it will do you a world of good to get outside of your house, especially if your depression is making you struggle to stay on top of chores.

2) Determine a realistic level of social commitments

The holiday season can get dizzying with the amount of demands it brings. You might find yourself wanting to say yes to everything but that’s a recipe for burn out. It’s tough but essential to find the balance between socializing enough so you’re not isolated, without socializing so much that you burn out. Only you can determine where your limit is.

3) Ensure that you’re eating and sleeping enough

Like the other tips, this is important year-round but becomes even more important when you’re expecting a particularly stressful time in your life. When you’re running on fumes because you’re sleep deprived or hungry, you won’t be able to function at your best. Here are some foods that are suggested for winter blues.

4) Loop in your loved ones

Consider talking to a few trusted loved ones about your depression to shore up your support system. Perhaps they can plan to check in on you once a week, help you stay on top of commitments and chores, or just come keep you company once in awhile.

If you feel like nothing you’re trying to address your depression is working or if you feel unsafe, consider seeing a professional if it’s accessible to you. We hope you enjoy your holiday season as much as possible!