4 Types of Pleasure Devices That Can Enhance Your Sex Life

Pleasure devices (aka: sex toys) are great tools that can enhance communication and pleasure in the bedroom. Sometimes buying one can be an intimidating task with so many options and a lack of information available due to stigma. Never fear though because Embrace Sexual Wellness has compiled a buying guide to help you find the best match for your personal needs.

First of all, you need to identify what is important to you in a sex toy. Here are some questions you should ask yourself before embarking on your search: 

1. Do you want to be able to use this toy on just yourself, or with partners too? (If you plan on sharing, make sure you take appropriate safety precautions). 

2. Do you have any sensitivities to materials like silicone or latex that need to be taken into consideration?

3. What’s your budget? 

4. Are you interested in something that vibrates or not?

5. Do you need a toy that is waterproof to take in the bath or shower?

6. If you’re interested in vibration, do you want pinpointed sensations or broader stimulation? 

Once you have your answers, you can begin your search in earnest. To get you started, let’s talk about the most popular kinds of sex toys. Please note that regardless of what toys you opt for, it’s essential to take care of them properly. Here is a helpful guide that goes over how to clean sex toys. 

Dildos

Dildos are insertable objects that are most commonly phallic shaped but there are also tons of fantasy and abstract options available too! They come in all sizes, shapes, and colors. Some are smooth, while others have texture. Some vibrate and some don’t. Some can attach to a wearer like a strap–on, while others are handheld. Some even have suction cups so they can stick to flat surfaces like a shower or a bedroom wall. Dildos are a highly versatile item that can be used for penetration, for external stimulation or rubbing on the genitals, or even for gender affirmation.

Vibrators

Vibrators are “objects that vibrate (move continuously/buzz) to stimulate your genitals. Vibrators are often used on genitals but can really be used anywhere that feels good on any anatomy! Popular types of vibrators are bullet, suction, and wand. Bullet vibrators are good for pinpointed stimulation and portability; suction vibrators are a unique sensation that is distinct from other vibrators because they use air pulsation instead or in addition to vibration; and wand vibrators, perhaps the most well known, are good for high powered broad stimulation.

Anal Toys

From butt plugs to anal beads to anal-sex-specific dildos, anal toys come in all shapes and sizes. Here is a guide detailing the differences between your options. Regardless of what you opt for, EVERY anal toy you use must have a flared base (a base that is significantly wider than the insertable portion of the toy). The flared base ensures that the toy won’t go too far up inside the body and if it does go in too far, it may necessitate an unpleasant visit to the emergency room.

Strokers and Penis Rings

The most popular stroker is known as the Fleshlight but these days there are dozens of options to choose from. Some are heated or vibrating, some are textured, and all of them are fun ways to enhance penis play! Another popular sex toy commonly used by people with penises are penis rings which “slow blood flow out of the penis when it’s erect, which can increase sensation, or make your erection harder and longer-lasting.” 

Finally, something incredibly important to take into account during your sex toy search is that sex toys are not carefully regulated like food or medication products so it’s up to the individual consumer to ensure safety. Here are some things you should look for in terms of safety. Do NOT purchase sex toys from websites like Amazon or eBay as they have been known to sell inauthentic and even used items. Some reputable sex toy shops that you can start with are below. Happy sex toy hunting!    

• Spectrum Boutique

• Nox Shop

• Unbound

• FeelMore Adult

• Enby

• Ardentley

• Wink Wink Boutique

• SheBop 

• Good Vibes 

• Smitten Kitten

• Peepshow Toys

• Honey Play Box

• Early to Bed

4 Things to Consider Before Moving in Together

Moving in with a partner or partner(s) is a big step which can be equally scary and exciting. The best way to ensure the most comfortable arrangement for everyone involved is to carefully consider all the implications of living together. This is a guide to help you cover all your bases when figuring out this important decision. 

Assessing If You’re Ready

There’s no definitive timeline that will suit every relationship so it’s important to take stock of all the factors involved. Some important considerations are:

1. Are your schedules compatible? 

2. Are there reasons to move in together aside from financial necessity? 

3. Have you ever cohabited for limited amounts of time? How was that experience? What were some points of tension? 

4. Are you ready to voluntarily surrender part of your independence now that your lives will be more entangled? 

5. If the relationship is non-monogamous, how will that fit into sharing a living space?

Personal Space 

Living with someone else means a lot of shared time together. Some people enjoy being with their partner most of the time, but others need more time to themselves. These questions can help decide how you will create personal space within a shared home: 

1. How much personal space do you need on a regular basis? How will you make space when you're in the same house/apartment? 

2. Personal time is essential for self-care and you will need to negotiate new boundaries around personal time when you live together. Here are some ways to navigate conversations about needing some space.  

3. Do you need your own physical corner or space in the living quarters? If so, where are those and what are the boundaries around them?

Maintenance of a shared space 

The way you keep your space might not feel like a big deal immediately, but it can cause a lot of problems if you each prefer to keep your things in drastically different ways. For example, someone who is very neat and tidy may start to feel resentment if their partner has piles of clothes on the floor. Conversely, someone who is a little messier may feel annoyed by a partner who keeps asking them to pick up their things. Here are some questions to consider about maintenance: 

1. How do you like to keep your space? Are you tidy/messy? How do you feel about living with someone who may keep their space differently from you? 

2. How can you delegate chores and hold each other accountable? 

Communication

What communication skills do you have in place with your partner to discuss problems as they arise? Living together can bring up a lot of new feelings or issues that weren't there previously. How will you work on them together as a team? There will be a learning curve to trying something new. Try to be patient with each other while you navigate new obstacles together.

This is an exciting adventure in your relationship that you get to go on together! It’s important to commit to be honest, kind, and patient with one another to make your transition as easy as possible. If you need extra support through this process, relationship therapy is a great option. For those in Illinois, Embrace Sexual Wellness can help!

How to Respond If Your Child Takes Off Their Clothes in Public

There are many wonderful things about having kids but one of the most challenging among them is their seemingly random urge to strip down regardless of context. At the wrong time, this can be incredibly inconvenient, but rest assured that it’s normal behavior. Children don’t yet have a full understand of societal norms; all they know is that they want their clothes off their bodies. While adults may understand that stripping down in the middle of a cafe isn’t appropriate, children may not. The only way to curb the issue is to first understand the root cause. This will vary from child to child, of course, but some of the most common reasons are sensory discomfort, dealing with overwhelming emotions, and getting attention. When addressing the issue, you should not only strive to teach them why taking off their clothing in certain contexts is inappropriate, but also how to productively address their needs in alternate ways. To you, it may be an inconvenience, but for your child it may be a form of communication.

Root cause aside, that doesn’t necessarily help you in the midst of an anxiety provoking moment when your child decides that the grocery store is their dressing room. First of all, try not to give an extreme reaction. Drawing more attention to the behavior will escalate the circumstances for everyone involved. Easier said than done, but an emotional outburst will do nothing but worsen the situation. Instead, excuse yourselves and find as private a place as possible to help them redress. If you have a moment before you have to rejoin whatever public space you were in, ask them if there was a reason and if so, how you two can address that need together. Then, gently but firmly explain that while there is nothing wrong with being naked, it is only appropriate in certain contexts, and that you’ll speak about it at length later on. It’s important to stress that there is nothing shameful or wrong about the state of being naked.

Having a conversation about social norms is part of the larger conversation about boundaries - both society’s and your child’s. Use this opportunity to discuss consent, when being naked is or is not appropriate, and social norms. Down the line, this will tie into larger conversations about consent in contexts like physical touch and interpersonal boundary setting. 

After all is said and done, don’t forget to take care of yourself. This can be a stressful issue to navigate and you deserve to take a few moments to decompress so you can continue being the best parent you can be.