Let’s Talk About Holiday Sex: Why It’s More Than Just a Gift

The holidays are often thought of as a time for family gatherings, festive meals, and gift exchanges. But amid all the hustle and bustle, there's another part of the season that can be a source of joy and connection: holiday sex.

What is holiday sex?

You might be thinking, “Wait, what does holiday sex even mean?” Well, it’s not about buying the latest luxury lingerie or turning your living room into a winter wonderland of intimacy. It’s about making time for connection, romance, and even a little bit of fun in the midst of the holiday chaos. Whether you're in a long-term relationship, newly dating, or enjoying a bit of solo downtime, holiday sex can bring a sense of closeness, pleasure, and relaxation to what can sometimes feel like a stressful time of year.

How can you make the most out of holiday sex?

Let’s dive into why holiday sex deserves a place on your seasonal agenda and how to make the most of it.

1. Stress Relief: The Best Gift You Can Give Yourself (and Your Partner)

The holiday season is notorious for creating stress. Between gift shopping, travel plans, work deadlines, and family obligations, it's easy to feel like you're running on empty. But did you know that sex is a great stress reliever? Orgasms release a cocktail of hormones, including oxytocin (the bonding hormone) and endorphins (the body’s natural painkillers), which help to reduce anxiety, elevate your mood, and promote feelings of relaxation.

So, in the midst of all the madness, prioritizing a little intimate time with your partner can be an excellent way to de-stress and reset. It’s a simple, yet powerful way to recharge your emotional and physical batteries, leaving you feeling more balanced and present.

2. A Perfect Excuse to Be More Present with Each Other

With the frenzy of holiday plans and social commitments, it's easy to forget about quality time with your partner. Between office parties, family dinners, and shopping sprees, you might feel like ships passing in the night. But intimacy—whether through touch, conversation, or physical connection—is one of the best ways to strengthen your bond and feel more connected to your partner.

Making time for sex is a way of saying, “Hey, you matter to me, and I want to carve out time just for us.” Whether it’s a spontaneous moment after a holiday party or a cozy night in front of the fire, prioritizing intimacy in the holiday season is a great way to keep your relationship strong.

3. Setting the Mood: Making Your Space Feel Sexy

The holidays have a way of transforming our homes into magical places—think twinkling lights, scented candles, and cozy blankets. These elements can also set the perfect mood for intimacy.

Set the scene by creating a relaxed, inviting atmosphere. Dim the lights, light some candles, or put on your favorite holiday playlist. If you want to go the extra mile, surprise your partner with something special like a little holiday-themed lingerie, a sensual massage, or even a cozy bubble bath to share before things heat up.

The holidays offer plenty of sensory experiences that can enhance your romantic life, so take advantage of these moments to turn everyday activities into intimate rituals.

4. Exploring New Kinks or Fantasies Together

There’s something about the holiday season that encourages a little indulgence. Whether it’s eating one too many cookies, sipping one too many cocktails, or enjoying a little extra time off from work, the holidays are a perfect opportunity to let loose and try something new—sexually, too.

Maybe you’ve always been curious about trying something new in the bedroom but never had the time or energy to explore. The downtime during the holidays can give you the space to talk openly about desires, try new things, and even indulge in a little fantasy. Whether it’s playing out a holiday-themed roleplay or experimenting with new toys, this could be the perfect time to spice things up.

Just make sure to communicate with your partner about your boundaries and preferences. Holiday sex is about creating pleasure and fun, so keep things lighthearted and focused on mutual enjoyment.

5. Solo Sex: Embracing Self-Love

It’s not just about the couple’s experience! The holiday season is also a great time to embrace your own sexuality and enjoy some solo pleasure. With more time to unwind, you might find yourself in need of some "me time" to relax, de-stress, and reconnect with your body.

Solo sex offers a perfect opportunity to explore your own desires, fantasies, and needs, without worrying about meeting anyone else’s expectations. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the pressures of the season, setting aside time for self-care—through masturbation, a warm bath, or even journaling about your desires—can be incredibly empowering.

Remember, the holidays aren’t just about giving to others, but also nurturing your own well-being.

6. A Time for Gratitude and Connection

As cheesy as it might sound, the holidays are a great time to reflect on what you’re grateful for. If you’re in a relationship, expressing your appreciation for your partner—both emotionally and physically—can deepen your connection. Small gestures like verbal affirmations, affectionate touches, or a thoughtful gesture (like making breakfast in bed or writing a love note) can make a huge impact.

Incorporating gratitude into your sexual connection can also enhance intimacy. Focusing on what you love about your partner’s body, their touch, and the way they make you feel can elevate the entire experience.

7. Reclaiming Intimacy in a Busy Season

One of the greatest challenges of the holidays is finding balance. It’s easy to get caught up in the to-do lists, but taking time for sex can serve as a reminder that physical intimacy matters, too. It doesn’t have to be grandiose or planned out—it’s about quality over quantity.

By making the effort to prioritize physical connection, you’re not only maintaining your relationship but also ensuring that you and your partner stay emotionally nourished throughout the holiday season.

Final Thoughts: Holiday Sex Can Be Your Best Gift

Sex during the holiday season can be more than just a fun distraction—it can help you relieve stress, stay connected with your partner, and even rediscover your own sense of pleasure. As with any time of year, the key is communication, respect, and mutual enjoyment.

So this holiday season, don’t just focus on the shopping lists and the family gatherings. Remember to take some time for yourself and your partner, and maybe even surprise each other with a little holiday joy in the bedroom.

After all, the best gift you can give yourself and your partner is a healthy, intimate connection. Happy holidays! 🎄❤️

How to Figure Out What You Actually Enjoy During Sex

The first step to having satisfying sex is to understand what you enjoy. It is difficult for a partner to facilitate pleasure without any direction. Many people are uncertain of what they like or want for a variety of reasons. Cultural stigma and sexual shame can exacerbate this knowledge gap. So how do you figure out what you like in the bedroom? In this article, we’ll highlight how to better understand your own pleasure and offer reflection questions to guide your exploration.  

What are some practical tips for learning what you like in the bedroom?

1. Read and watch erotica

”Erotica” is any sexually explicit literary or artistic work. It can be a great tool for exploring sexual interests alone or with a partner/partners. Erotica can include books, short stories, audio clips, drawings and more. Exploring erotica and taking note of what excites you will give you more information about what you may or may not enjoy during sex. 

2. Explore your body and masturbation

Before bringing a partner into the mix, try intentionally touching and exploring your own body. This should go beyond just your genitals, although that can be important too. Try different types of touch like gentle versus firmer pressure. Let go of your assumptions of what you are “supposed” to like and explore freely. You can also try different types of masturbation, like acute versus broad stimulation, experimenting with sex toys, and varying your position like sitting versus lying down. 

3. Experiment with a trusted partner

The best way to learn what you enjoy during partnered sex is to try it out with a partner. Make sure you choose a partner who you can talk to about your curiosity, hesitations, and uncertainty. When you broach the subject, make sure to choose a time when they are in a headspace to talk about it and offer them time to think about it. If you decide to proceed, establish explicit expectations and a safe word. Afterwards, when you are ready, talk about how it went and whether or not you want to do it again.    

Reflection Questions

Understanding your feelings about sex may also help you better understand your desires. Here are some questions to guide your reflection so you can better understand what you want during sex: 

• Are there parts of your body where you particularly enjoy being stimulated? 

• Are there parts of your body that you do not want a partner to touch?

• How do you feel about integrating sex toys or props into your sex life?

• Do you have sexual trauma that needs to be taken into account?

• Do you like dirty talk?

• Do you want to take the lead or do you want to be led? 

• How much stimulation do you want to receive versus give?

• How do you want sex to make you feel? Do you want to feel loved, sexy, powerful, degraded, and/or something else? 

• What type of genital stimulation do you prefer? 

• Do you want to be penetrated?

• What kind of sexual aftercare is important to you?

Takeaway

Knowing what you enjoy in bed is important for directing partners and maximizing your satisfaction. With techniques like self-exploration and reflection, you can hopefully figure out what works best for you. Factors like sexual trauma and shame can contribute to being unsure of your preferences. If you are experiencing roadblocks that are preventing you from learning your sexual desires, consider reaching out to a sex therapist.

Pelvic Congestion Syndrome: Causes, Symptoms, and Treatments

Chronic pelvic pain is a common occurrence among people assigned female at birth, affecting an estimated 15% of people of childbearing age in the United States. One of the causes of pelvic pain is pelvic congestion syndrome (PCS). PCS occurs when varicose veins develop around the ovaries. Varicose veins are twisted, enlarged veins that most often appear on the legs because standing and walking cause the blood to engorge the leg veins. Most of the time, varicose veins are completely benign and painless but when they appear on the ovaries, they can cause pain and discomfort. The exact cause is still unknown but pregnancy and estrogen can both play key roles in making the veins structurally unsound. Any type of chronic pain can be disruptive to your life so it is important to learn about the cause of your pain and what your treatment options are. This article will cover the symptoms of pelvic congestion syndrome, how it affects one’s sex life, and the treatment options that exist. 

What are the symptoms of pelvic congestion syndrome?

Dull and achy pelvic pain is the primary symptom of PCS, but it can manifest as a sharp pain as well. The pain can be exacerbated after standing or sitting for a long time, before and during menstruation or sexual activity. Additional symptoms include varicose veins in other places like the pelvis, buttocks, and vulva, an irritable bowel, stress incontinence, and pain with urination.   

How does pelvic congestion syndrome affect one’s sex life?

As mentioned above, pelvic congestion syndrome and the associated pain tends to be exacerbated by sexual intercourse. This not only poses physical obstacles to having sex, especially penetrative sex, but chronic pain can also cause a low libido. That does not mean that you can never achieve a fulfilling sex life though. In addition to the PCS treatment options below, there are ways to have great sex without penetration. You can engage in alternative forms of intimacy, like mutual masturbation, give and/or receive a sensual massage, or cuddle skin-to-skin. There are also ways to try to boost your libido, if you so desire. None of these options provide a permanent solution, but there are treatment options that can make it easier to live with PCS. 

   What are the treatment options for pelvic congestion syndrome?

Diagnosing pelvic congestion syndrome is not easy because the symptoms are easily conflated with other conditions and there is no test that will outright prove that PCS is the culprit. For this reason, doctors will typically run tests to rule out similar conditions, as well as use imaging like ultrasounds. Ultrasounds provide a view of the soft tissue; if more detailed imaging is required, a doctor may opt for an MRI or CT scan. The goal of diagnosis and treatment is to reduce or relieve pelvic pain, but there is unfortunately no known cure for PCS. The treatment you and your doctor pursue will depend on factors such as the severity of your symptoms and your medical history.

Treatment options for PCS may include: 

• Gonadotropin hormone drugs. Gonadotropins are hormones that regulate ovarian function; they are essential for growth, development, and reproduction functions. These drugs can block ovarian function and therefore relieve some pain.  

• Progestin hormone drugs. Similarly to gonadotropins, progestin drugs are hormonal drugs that serve to relieve pain by assisting the regulatory function of your reproductive system. 

• Sclerotherapy or embolization. A sclerotherapy is a typical treatment option for any varicose veins, including pelvic veins, such as is the case for PCS. It involves a needle that injects a solution which causes the damaged vein to scar and eventually fade as blood is rerouted to healthier veins. A similar concept but different execution is gonadal vein embolization is a minimally invasive treatment that involves a small incision for a tube that is used to dispatch a sclerosant that blocks the vein, therefore guiding the blood to healthier vessels, similar to how sclerotherapy works. 

• Oophorectomy or Hysterectomy (to remove your uterus and ovaries). An oophorectomy (removal of the ovaries) and hysterectomy (removal of the uterus) are reserved for the most severe cases of PCS after milder treatments have failed. However, these procedures have been shown to be a very effective treatment for PCS pain in treatment-resistant cases.

The Bottom Line

Pelvic congestion syndrome is a taxing condition that has the potential to significantly impact your quality of life, particularly your sex life. However, with a proper diagnosis and treatment plan, you can find relief. If you suspect you have PCS, you should consult with a healthcare professional to explore your options. Additionally, if you need extra support for your mental health and/or your libido and sex life due to the chronic pain, consider reaching out to a therapist.