Nurturing Sexual Intimacy: Rediscovering Connection After Cancer Treatment

Embarking on the journey of a cancer diagnosis and subsequent treatment is undoubtedly a challenging road that can impact intimate relationships. The process of re-establishing sexual intimacy after cancer calls for a thoughtful approach—one grounded in understanding, open communication, and patience. In this article, we'll delve deeper into the potential effects of cancer on sexual health, discuss specific resources available, and provide detailed insights on how to approach the gradual process of rebuilding intimacy when the time feels right.

Understanding the Impact of Cancer on Sexual Functioning

Cancer and its treatment introduce physical changes that can significantly affect sexual functioning. Surgical procedures may alter body structures and tissues, and chemotherapy or radiation therapy can induce fatigue, pain, vaginal dryness and hormonal imbalances. Beyond the physical side effects, the emotional toll of a cancer diagnosis, marked by anxiety, depression, and uncertainty, can cast a shadow on libido and overall sexual well-being. It's important for individuals and their partners to grasp the nature of these changes and engage in open communication with healthcare providers, including oncologists, nurses, and specialists to gain valuable insights into managing these challenges effectively.

How do I support my intimate partner during cancer treatment?

Approaching intimacy after cancer treatment requires support from all individuals in a relationship. Here are considerations for the supportive partner:

Open Communication

Open communication serves as the cornerstone of navigating this sensitive terrain. Creating an environment where both partners can freely express their feelings, concerns, and desires is crucial. Encouraging your partner to share their experiences and being attentive to their emotional needs fosters a deeper understanding and connection.

Self-Educate

Taking the initiative to educate yourself about the potential physical and emotional changes resulting from cancer treatment is a proactive step. This knowledge equips you to provide informed support and navigate the journey together, demonstrating a commitment to shared understanding.

Practice Patience

Recognizing that rebuilding intimacy takes time is essential. Being patient with your partner and acknowledging that the process may involve ups and downs is key to fostering a supportive environment. Understanding that your partner's feelings and needs may evolve allows you to adapt your support accordingly, creating a foundation for resilience and growth.

Find your own support

Participating in counseling sessions or support groups as a couple is a collaborative approach that can strengthen the bond between partners. This shared experience enhances communication and provides practical tools to navigate the unique challenges that may arise in the aftermath of cancer treatment. Encouraging your partner to seek guidance from healthcare professionals, therapists, or sexologists who specialize in post-cancer intimacy is a proactive step toward holistic support. Professional guidance can offer tailored strategies and insights to address specific challenges, empowering both partners on the journey of rediscovering intimacy after cancer.

How do we approach intimacy after cancer?

Rebuilding intimacy necessitates a deliberate and patient approach. Open communication serves as the cornerstone of this process, where partners express their feelings, fears, and desires, fostering mutual understanding and empathy. Taking it slow is crucial. Initiating non-sexual forms of physical connection, such as cuddling or holding hands, can create a foundation for rebuilding intimacy at a pace comfortable for each partner.

Exploring sensate focus, a technique employed by sex therapists involves non-demanding, pleasurable touch without the expectation of sexual activity. This approach encourages partners to reconnect on a physical level, fostering a renewed sense of intimacy without the pressure of immediate sexual expectations.

Lastly, educating oneself about the potential physical and emotional changes resulting from cancer treatment is empowering. Understanding these changes reduces anxiety and contributes to a more supportive and empathetic relationship, with resources such as reputable websites, books, and pamphlets provided by healthcare professionals in the Chicagoland area offering valuable insights.

Resources for Cancer Support in Chicagoland

• American Cancer Society: The American Cancer Society (ACS) is a vital support system for cancer patients, providing easily accessible information on different types of cancer, current treatments, and resources. Through initiatives like Relay For Life and educational programs, ACS promotes cancer awareness and fundraising for research. ACS also offers support services, such as transportation assistance and lodging for patients undergoing treatment. With a focus on community engagement and advocacy, the American Cancer Society plays a crucial role in supporting and empowering individuals affected by cancer.

• Cancer Treatment Centers of America (CTCA) - Chicago: CTCA is dedicated to cancer care and offers a comprehensive approach to address the physical and emotional aspects of cancer treatment. They provide specialized support services and access to healthcare professionals well-versed in managing the unique challenges of post-cancer intimacy.

• Cancer Wellness Center: Through supportive care and education, the Cancer Wellness Center seeks to improve the emotional and physical well-being of people affected by cancer. It is located in Northbrook, IL and all of their virtual and in-person programs are offered free of charge. Programs include support groups, counseling/therapy, educational programs, exercise and physical wellness programs, nutritional counseling, mind-body practices, and a resource center.

• Gilda's Club Chicago: Gilda's Club is a community organization providing support and education to individuals and families impacted by cancer. They offer counseling services, support groups, and educational programs that address the emotional aspects of rebuilding intimacy.

• National Cancer Institute: The National Cancer Institute (NCI) is a crucial resource for cancer patients, offering easy-to-understand information on various cancers and access to the latest treatments through clinical trials. NCI is dedicated to supporting patients by providing educational materials and promoting cancer prevention initiatives. With a focus on collaboration and patient-centered care, NCI plays a vital role in offering valuable support and fostering hope within the cancer community.

• Northwestern Medicine Cancer Center - Chicago: Northwestern Medicine's Cancer Center in Chicago is renowned for its multidisciplinary approach to cancer care. The center provides access to oncologists, psychologists, and counselors who can offer guidance on managing the effects of cancer on sexual health.

• University of Chicago Medicine Comprehensive Cancer Center: This center is a hub for cutting-edge cancer research and treatment. The Comprehensive Cancer Center offers support services and resources to help individuals navigate the challenges of post-cancer intimacy, including counseling and educational programs.

• Wellness House - Hinsdale: Wellness House provides a variety of programs and services to support individuals and families affected by cancer. Their offerings include counseling, support groups, and educational workshops aimed at addressing the emotional and relational aspects of post-cancer life.

TLDR

Re-establishing intimacy after cancer treatment is a personal journey requiring patience and understanding. Partners can play a crucial role by fostering open communication, educating themselves about post-cancer changes, attending support sessions together, being patient, and encouraging professional guidance. Remember, the path to rebuilding intimacy is gradual, and prioritizing emotional connection lays the foundation for a fulfilling post-cancer sexual relationship.

Written by Seth Taylor, ALMFT

Postpartum Pelvic Pain: What You Need to Know

Giving birth takes a huge toll on the body, especially the pelvis. This means that giving birth has the potential to cause postpartum pelvic pain. The pelvis is the ring of bones at the bottom of your spine, which functions to stabilize muscles and protect organs.

When you have your hands full with a newborn, pain is the last thing you want to be dealing with, but it is a relatively common part of the postpartum healing process. The first six weeks postpartum are considered your “recovery period,” but everyone’s body heals at a different pace. It is normal for your body to need time to heal but you can proactively address pelvic pain instead of trying to wait it out. In this article, we will explore tips for preventing postpartum pelvic pain, potential causes, and how to manage pain when it emerges.

Symptoms of Postpartum Pelvic Pain

Some of the symptoms related to pelvic pain after childbirth are persistent pain in the pelvic area, hips, lower back, or pubic bone; difficulty walking or standing; and urinary or bowel issues. Factors such as type of delivery, the presence of complications, and the strength of the pelvis before childbirth will all influence which symptoms you experience. There are multiple possibilities for causes of pelvic pain, so a medical professional can help determine which one is contributing to your symptoms. The following section describes a few of the potential causes. 

Causes of Postpartum Pelvic Pain

Changes in the Pelvic Floor

Pregnancy and childbirth stretch and weaken pelvic floor muscles, which are connective tissues supporting pelvic organs like the bladder, rectum, and uterus. They serve to stabilize the spine and assist with continence. 

Pelvic Girdle Pain/Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction

Pelvic Girdle Pain (also known as Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction) happens when the ligaments that keep your pelvic bone aligned are too relaxed due to the hormone relaxin. While your body is supposed to produce relaxin before birth to allow for the baby to pass through, sometimes it produces too much, meaning your pelvic bones do not have the appropriate support and in turn, cause pain afterwards.  

Trauma from a vaginal delivery

There is, unfortunately, an association between vaginal delivery and ensuing urinary incontinence and pelvic organ prolapse. Pushing out a baby puts strain on the pelvic floor and weakens those muscles, leading to postpartum pelvic pain.

How to Prevent Postpartum Pelvic Pain

If you have yet to give birth, there are steps you can take to prevent or mitigate pelvic pain both during pregnancy and postpartum. These tips are not guaranteed to help you avoid pelvic pain altogether, but they may decrease the odds of experiencing it, or at least decrease the intensity of the pain you experience.   

Exercise your pelvic floor

Since pelvic pain is in part due to a weakened pelvic floor, working on strength building both before and after giving birth helps with postpartum recovery. Everyone’s body and postpartum challenges are unique to them, so it is best to do these under the guidance of a professional pelvic floor physical therapist. If that is not accessible to you, there are plenty of resources online that demonstrate some of these exercises. It is important to be aware of your body’s limitations and to stop if you experience an inordinate amount of discomfort or pain.      

Maintaining good posture

Though good posture is challenging to maintain when you have the weight of a pregnant belly pulling down, it will alleviate strain on the pelvic area. Good posture is also important postpartum, especially since early parenthood involves lots of lifting and bending.  

Move gently interspersed with rest

Staying active during pregnancy is vital to prepare your body for the strenuous nature of labor. Gentle forms of exercise like walking and stretching promote flexibility and blood flow without putting too much strain on the body. Equally important as exercise is to rest and avoid overexertion.

Wear comfortable footwear

Everything in the body is connected and affects other parts of the body. Even though your feet are not close to your pelvis, supportive shoes support spinal alignment and in doing so, reduces strain on the pelvis.

Use supportive devices

Maternity belly bands provide support for your belly and back can alleviate strain on your spine and pelvis.   

Treatments for Pelvic Pain

If you have already given birth and are experiencing postpartum pelvic pain, you have options for addressing it. The tips can still support your recovery if it is too late to prevent the pain. Additionally, you can take NSAIDs like acetaminophen, use a heating pad, get rest, and work with a pelvic floor physical therapist. Note that you should speak to your doctor as soon as possible about your concerns; they can give you specific guidance for the treatment options best suited to you    

The bottom line 

Understanding the potential causes, incorporating prevention strategies, and seeking appropriate treatment are the best ways to approach postpartum pelvic pain. Every person’s experience and body is unique, and healing timelines and trajectories will vary, which is why it is important to consult a qualified pelvic floor physical therapist and/or a sex therapist. Finally, though easier said than done, try to be patient with your body. It has just been through significant trauma and challenges, so health complications as a result are to be expected. By educating yourself and using available resources, you may feel more supported on the journey of postpartum recovery.     

Pelvic Congestion Syndrome: Causes, Symptoms, and Treatments

Chronic pelvic pain is a common occurrence among people assigned female at birth, affecting an estimated 15% of people of childbearing age in the United States. One of the causes of pelvic pain is pelvic congestion syndrome (PCS). PCS occurs when varicose veins develop around the ovaries. Varicose veins are twisted, enlarged veins that most often appear on the legs because standing and walking cause the blood to engorge the leg veins. Most of the time, varicose veins are completely benign and painless but when they appear on the ovaries, they can cause pain and discomfort. The exact cause is still unknown but pregnancy and estrogen can both play key roles in making the veins structurally unsound. Any type of chronic pain can be disruptive to your life so it is important to learn about the cause of your pain and what your treatment options are. This article will cover the symptoms of pelvic congestion syndrome, how it affects one’s sex life, and the treatment options that exist. 

What are the symptoms of pelvic congestion syndrome?

Dull and achy pelvic pain is the primary symptom of PCS, but it can manifest as a sharp pain as well. The pain can be exacerbated after standing or sitting for a long time, before and during menstruation or sexual activity. Additional symptoms include varicose veins in other places like the pelvis, buttocks, and vulva, an irritable bowel, stress incontinence, and pain with urination.   

How does pelvic congestion syndrome affect one’s sex life?

As mentioned above, pelvic congestion syndrome and the associated pain tends to be exacerbated by sexual intercourse. This not only poses physical obstacles to having sex, especially penetrative sex, but chronic pain can also cause a low libido. That does not mean that you can never achieve a fulfilling sex life though. In addition to the PCS treatment options below, there are ways to have great sex without penetration. You can engage in alternative forms of intimacy, like mutual masturbation, give and/or receive a sensual massage, or cuddle skin-to-skin. There are also ways to try to boost your libido, if you so desire. None of these options provide a permanent solution, but there are treatment options that can make it easier to live with PCS. 

   What are the treatment options for pelvic congestion syndrome?

Diagnosing pelvic congestion syndrome is not easy because the symptoms are easily conflated with other conditions and there is no test that will outright prove that PCS is the culprit. For this reason, doctors will typically run tests to rule out similar conditions, as well as use imaging like ultrasounds. Ultrasounds provide a view of the soft tissue; if more detailed imaging is required, a doctor may opt for an MRI or CT scan. The goal of diagnosis and treatment is to reduce or relieve pelvic pain, but there is unfortunately no known cure for PCS. The treatment you and your doctor pursue will depend on factors such as the severity of your symptoms and your medical history.

Treatment options for PCS may include: 

• Gonadotropin hormone drugs. Gonadotropins are hormones that regulate ovarian function; they are essential for growth, development, and reproduction functions. These drugs can block ovarian function and therefore relieve some pain.  

• Progestin hormone drugs. Similarly to gonadotropins, progestin drugs are hormonal drugs that serve to relieve pain by assisting the regulatory function of your reproductive system. 

• Sclerotherapy or embolization. A sclerotherapy is a typical treatment option for any varicose veins, including pelvic veins, such as is the case for PCS. It involves a needle that injects a solution which causes the damaged vein to scar and eventually fade as blood is rerouted to healthier veins. A similar concept but different execution is gonadal vein embolization is a minimally invasive treatment that involves a small incision for a tube that is used to dispatch a sclerosant that blocks the vein, therefore guiding the blood to healthier vessels, similar to how sclerotherapy works. 

• Oophorectomy or Hysterectomy (to remove your uterus and ovaries). An oophorectomy (removal of the ovaries) and hysterectomy (removal of the uterus) are reserved for the most severe cases of PCS after milder treatments have failed. However, these procedures have been shown to be a very effective treatment for PCS pain in treatment-resistant cases.

The Bottom Line

Pelvic congestion syndrome is a taxing condition that has the potential to significantly impact your quality of life, particularly your sex life. However, with a proper diagnosis and treatment plan, you can find relief. If you suspect you have PCS, you should consult with a healthcare professional to explore your options. Additionally, if you need extra support for your mental health and/or your libido and sex life due to the chronic pain, consider reaching out to a therapist.