3 Reasons to Seek Sex Therapy

Sex therapy is a therapeutic niche that addresses a wide range of sexuality-related concerns. Sexuality is a central part of being human so it makes sense that there is a need for professionals to guide us through issues pertaining to such a personal and important subject. Even the most knowledgable people about sexuality and relationships can benefit from having a neutral third party to work through internalized biases and judgments, relationship issues, sexual and gender identity, and more. Here are some reasons why you may seek a sex therapist:

You’re processing sexual trauma

Did you know that every 68 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted? Sexual assault is probably the first thing that comes to mind when you think of sexual trauma and while sexual trauma does include assault, it encapsulates more than that. It also includes issues such as chronic objectification and sexual shaming, sexual harassment like being catcalled, and both physical and emotional incest. These are complex, damaging traumas that left untreated can lead to depression and anxiety, among other issues. Sex therapists can help you work through your sexual trauma and any associated issues.

You’re unsatisfied with the state of your sex life and/or relationship as a whole

Sex therapy is a great resource for both individuals and people in a relationship working through sex and relationship issues. Humans are imperfect and therefore so are our relationships. Sometimes relationship and/or sex life tension start feeling insurmountable, which is where a sex therapist comes in. They can help individuals identify their wants and needs and work through sexual dissatisfaction. For people in relationships seeking treatment together, a therapist can mediate a discussion where all partners can have a say and be heard, facilitating a hopefully effective and kind dialogue.

You have difficulty achieving orgasm or arousal

There is nothing wrong with struggling to achieve orgasm or arousal. That being said, if it bothers you, you might consider seeking out a sex therapist after identifying or ruling out any physical causes. A therapist can help you pinpoint the source of the difficulty and work through it with you. Even if you are unable to “fix” the issue, a good therapist can hopefully help you find ways to have a healthy, fulfilling sex life.

These are just a few examples of what sex therapy can be helpful for. If you’re unsure if sex therapy is right for you or where to start, reach out to ESW team to see if we may be a fit for you.

LGBTQIA+ Affirming Health Care: Tips for Professionals and Patients

Doctors’ appointments aren’t necessarily something that most people actively look forward to but when the patient in question is LGBTQIA+, the prospect can be downright terrifying. Receiving healthcare is often a vulnerable position to be in and when the risk of discrimination is that much higher, many LGBTQIA+ folks hesitate to take the chance even if it means denying themselves critical care. 

According to a report by Lambda Legal, “almost 56% of lesbian, gay, or bisexual respondents had at least one of these [various negative types of interaction with healthcare professionals] experiences; 70% of transgender and gender nonconforming respondents had one or more of these experiences.” Those kinds of numbers make it abundantly clear that LGBTQIA+ individuals are consistently discriminated against in healthcare environments and this discourages them from seeking needed care; not to mention that in some U.S. states, healthcare professionals can legally turn away an individual for being LGBTQIA+. 

These systemic issues need to be addressed but at the same time, LGBTQIA+ people are suffering at the hands of healthcare discrimination which has potentially life threatening consequences. There is room both to critique the system and recognize that it needs to be overhauled, as well as to acknowledge that people need access to compassionate care now. Both healthcare providers and LGBTQIA+ patients can take measures to make healthcare a more accessible and affirming experience. There are strategies to mitigate discrimination and exposure to it despite the fact that it may not be entirely unavoidable. 

For Healthcare Professionals: Curating an LGBTQIA+ Welcoming Environment   

Change starts on an individual level and all healthcare professionals should strive to address the unique hurdles LGBTQIA+ people face when seeking care. Here are some ways to practice LGBTQIA+ affirming care:

• Ask patients’ pronouns and default to gender neutral language if their pronouns are unknown. Additionally, make space for patients to disclose both their legal name and the name they identify with as sometimes they are different, especially for transgender people. 

• Explicitly display support for LGBTQIA+ people and their health

  • Display brochures (multilingual when possible and appropriate) about LGBT health concerns, such as breast cancer, safe sex, hormone therapy, mental health, substance use, and sexually transmitted infections.

  • Hire LGBTQIA+ staff members

  • Attend and support local LGBTQIA+ events and businesses 

  • Publish a non-discrimination statement such as this example. 

• Allow for a wide variety of identities and boundaries on intake forms 

  • This may include replacing the strict male/female options with blank spaces for both “gender” and “sex” categories.

  • Add room for patients to specify what name they’d like to be called, in addition to their legal name 

  • Allow people to disclose boundaries for the doctor such as not wanting to be weighed or not wanting a genital exam (unless explicitly necessary to the health concern at hand) 

• Commit to continually learning and improving, especially in instances when you have made a mistake. 

  • Read our blog post with a round up of LGBTQIA+ education resources 

• Don’t assume anyone’s gender, anatomy, or sexuality

• Listen to how patients describe their own sexual orientation, partner(s), gender, and relationship(s), and use their language. Although many LGBT people may use words such as “queer,” “dyke,” and “fag” to describe themselves, these and other words have been derogatory terms used against LGBT individuals. They are not appropriate for use by health care providers unless and until explicit consent is given by the patient. If you are in doubt as to how to refer to a patient, ask what word or phrase they prefer.

• Ensure there is a gender neutral restroom option for patients

For LGBTQIA+ Individuals: How to Protect Yourself

• When searching for doctors, utilize resources such as a local LGBTQ+ clinics and centers for recommendations, or a directory like the one from the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association.

• Look up reviews of a potential doctor to learn more about their patients’ experiences.

• Explore the practice’s website to see if they explicitly display support for LGBTQIA+ people.

• If you have questions for the doctor before you feel comfortable going in for an appointment, try emailing or calling the office and ask them questions about their experience working with LGBTQIA+ patients. Listen to your gut feeling about them after your call.

• If possible, consider bringing a trusted friend, someone you feel safe and comfortable around, to your appointment. 

• Your doctor’s job is to take care of you; the best way you can help them do that is by being upfront about your boundaries and any pertinent information about yourself, including your identity. Any good doctor will appreciate the guidance and unless your requests go against medical necessity, they should respect it.   

• If you have a negative experience with a healthcare professional, make sure to practice self-care and process it with a trusted therapist if you have access to one. If not, talk with a consenting loved one about your experience.  

Hopefully these tips will assist both healthcare professionals and LGBTQIA+ patients to make LGBTQIA+ healthcare affirming, compassionate, and accessible. No one’s health should suffer because of ignorance. Healthcare is a human right for all, not just those who conform to arbitrary societal standards. LGBTQIA+ people deserve equitable access to proper healthcare.