Let’s Talk About Holiday Sex: Why It’s More Than Just a Gift

The holidays are often thought of as a time for family gatherings, festive meals, and gift exchanges. But amid all the hustle and bustle, there's another part of the season that can be a source of joy and connection: holiday sex.

What is holiday sex?

You might be thinking, “Wait, what does holiday sex even mean?” Well, it’s not about buying the latest luxury lingerie or turning your living room into a winter wonderland of intimacy. It’s about making time for connection, romance, and even a little bit of fun in the midst of the holiday chaos. Whether you're in a long-term relationship, newly dating, or enjoying a bit of solo downtime, holiday sex can bring a sense of closeness, pleasure, and relaxation to what can sometimes feel like a stressful time of year.

How can you make the most out of holiday sex?

Let’s dive into why holiday sex deserves a place on your seasonal agenda and how to make the most of it.

1. Stress Relief: The Best Gift You Can Give Yourself (and Your Partner)

The holiday season is notorious for creating stress. Between gift shopping, travel plans, work deadlines, and family obligations, it's easy to feel like you're running on empty. But did you know that sex is a great stress reliever? Orgasms release a cocktail of hormones, including oxytocin (the bonding hormone) and endorphins (the body’s natural painkillers), which help to reduce anxiety, elevate your mood, and promote feelings of relaxation.

So, in the midst of all the madness, prioritizing a little intimate time with your partner can be an excellent way to de-stress and reset. It’s a simple, yet powerful way to recharge your emotional and physical batteries, leaving you feeling more balanced and present.

2. A Perfect Excuse to Be More Present with Each Other

With the frenzy of holiday plans and social commitments, it's easy to forget about quality time with your partner. Between office parties, family dinners, and shopping sprees, you might feel like ships passing in the night. But intimacy—whether through touch, conversation, or physical connection—is one of the best ways to strengthen your bond and feel more connected to your partner.

Making time for sex is a way of saying, “Hey, you matter to me, and I want to carve out time just for us.” Whether it’s a spontaneous moment after a holiday party or a cozy night in front of the fire, prioritizing intimacy in the holiday season is a great way to keep your relationship strong.

3. Setting the Mood: Making Your Space Feel Sexy

The holidays have a way of transforming our homes into magical places—think twinkling lights, scented candles, and cozy blankets. These elements can also set the perfect mood for intimacy.

Set the scene by creating a relaxed, inviting atmosphere. Dim the lights, light some candles, or put on your favorite holiday playlist. If you want to go the extra mile, surprise your partner with something special like a little holiday-themed lingerie, a sensual massage, or even a cozy bubble bath to share before things heat up.

The holidays offer plenty of sensory experiences that can enhance your romantic life, so take advantage of these moments to turn everyday activities into intimate rituals.

4. Exploring New Kinks or Fantasies Together

There’s something about the holiday season that encourages a little indulgence. Whether it’s eating one too many cookies, sipping one too many cocktails, or enjoying a little extra time off from work, the holidays are a perfect opportunity to let loose and try something new—sexually, too.

Maybe you’ve always been curious about trying something new in the bedroom but never had the time or energy to explore. The downtime during the holidays can give you the space to talk openly about desires, try new things, and even indulge in a little fantasy. Whether it’s playing out a holiday-themed roleplay or experimenting with new toys, this could be the perfect time to spice things up.

Just make sure to communicate with your partner about your boundaries and preferences. Holiday sex is about creating pleasure and fun, so keep things lighthearted and focused on mutual enjoyment.

5. Solo Sex: Embracing Self-Love

It’s not just about the couple’s experience! The holiday season is also a great time to embrace your own sexuality and enjoy some solo pleasure. With more time to unwind, you might find yourself in need of some "me time" to relax, de-stress, and reconnect with your body.

Solo sex offers a perfect opportunity to explore your own desires, fantasies, and needs, without worrying about meeting anyone else’s expectations. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the pressures of the season, setting aside time for self-care—through masturbation, a warm bath, or even journaling about your desires—can be incredibly empowering.

Remember, the holidays aren’t just about giving to others, but also nurturing your own well-being.

6. A Time for Gratitude and Connection

As cheesy as it might sound, the holidays are a great time to reflect on what you’re grateful for. If you’re in a relationship, expressing your appreciation for your partner—both emotionally and physically—can deepen your connection. Small gestures like verbal affirmations, affectionate touches, or a thoughtful gesture (like making breakfast in bed or writing a love note) can make a huge impact.

Incorporating gratitude into your sexual connection can also enhance intimacy. Focusing on what you love about your partner’s body, their touch, and the way they make you feel can elevate the entire experience.

7. Reclaiming Intimacy in a Busy Season

One of the greatest challenges of the holidays is finding balance. It’s easy to get caught up in the to-do lists, but taking time for sex can serve as a reminder that physical intimacy matters, too. It doesn’t have to be grandiose or planned out—it’s about quality over quantity.

By making the effort to prioritize physical connection, you’re not only maintaining your relationship but also ensuring that you and your partner stay emotionally nourished throughout the holiday season.

Final Thoughts: Holiday Sex Can Be Your Best Gift

Sex during the holiday season can be more than just a fun distraction—it can help you relieve stress, stay connected with your partner, and even rediscover your own sense of pleasure. As with any time of year, the key is communication, respect, and mutual enjoyment.

So this holiday season, don’t just focus on the shopping lists and the family gatherings. Remember to take some time for yourself and your partner, and maybe even surprise each other with a little holiday joy in the bedroom.

After all, the best gift you can give yourself and your partner is a healthy, intimate connection. Happy holidays! 🎄❤️

10 Tips for Keeping the Spark Alive During Busy Holiday Times

How can couples keep their spark alive during a busy holiday season?

The holiday season can be a whirlwind of activities, family gatherings, and endless to-do lists. Amidst the chaos, it’s easy for intimacy and connection with your partner to take a backseat. However, maintaining that spark is crucial for a healthy relationship. Here are some tips and creative date ideas to help you stay connected during the holidays.

Schedule Quality Time

Amidst holiday chaos, it’s vital to carve out intentional time for each other. Schedule regular date nights or quiet evenings at home. Treat these times as sacred, just like you would any other commitment. Whether it’s a cozy movie night or a candlelit dinner, prioritize each other.

Embrace the Spirit of Giving

Turn gift-giving into an intimate experience. Write heartfelt letters expressing your love and appreciation, or create DIY gifts that reflect your partner's interests. The act of giving can enhance emotional intimacy and strengthen your bond.

Get Creative with Holiday Traditions

Incorporate intimate activities into your holiday traditions. For example, bake cookies together, decorate your home, or create a holiday playlist. These shared experiences can deepen your connection and create lasting memories.

Plan Mini Getaways

If possible, consider a short trip or a weekend getaway. Escaping your routine, even for a day or two, can rekindle romance. Explore nearby destinations, enjoy a cozy cabin, or indulge in a spa day—whatever helps you relax and reconnect.

Explore Festive Date Ideas

Here are some fun and festive date ideas to keep the holiday spirit alive:

Ice Skating: Hold hands as you glide across the ice, followed by hot cocoa to warm up.

Holiday Lights Tour: Drive or walk through neighborhoods adorned with holiday lights. Bring along some snacks and enjoy the scenery.

Attend a Holiday Event: Look for local concerts, markets, or festive shows that you can enjoy together.

Volunteer Together: Spend time giving back to your community. Volunteering can foster a sense of togetherness and purpose.

Create a Cozy Atmosphere at Home

Sometimes, the best moments are spent at home. Create a cozy space with blankets, candles, and soft music. Plan a “stay-in” date with your favorite takeout and a board game or movie marathon. This can lead to meaningful conversations and laughter.

Prioritize Physical Connection

Amid the busyness, don’t forget about physical intimacy. Schedule time for massages, cuddle sessions, or playful moments. A simple touch or kiss can go a long way in maintaining closeness.

Reflect and Set Intentions

As the year comes to a close, take time to reflect on your relationship. Share your favorite moments from the past year and discuss what you want to focus on in the coming year. Setting intentions together can create a shared vision for your relationship.

Stay Communicative

Keep the lines of communication open. Discuss how the holidays are affecting your relationship and be honest about any stressors. Understanding each other’s perspectives can help you navigate challenges more effectively.

Focus on the Joy of the Season

Remember that the holidays are about joy and connection. Try to shift your focus from stress to celebration. Embrace the little moments together, whether it's laughing over a shared dessert or enjoying a quiet evening under the stars.

TLDR

The holidays don’t have to mean sacrificing intimacy in your relationship. By prioritizing quality time, getting creative with traditions, and maintaining open communication, you can keep the spark alive even during the busiest season. Embrace the joy of being together, and let your love shine bright this holiday season!

Holiday Gift Ideas For Each of the 5 Love Languages

With the holidays right around the corner, you might be thinking about what to get for your loved ones. Gift-giving can be daunting but a great starting point is to think about the recipient’s primary love language(s ).

The idea of the five love languages is based on The 5 Love Languages book by Dr. Gary Chapman, a marriage counselor*. The website explains that when you identify the love languages preferences of yourself and the people you love, you can connect on a deeper level and understand how to fulfill needs more easily and effectively. The five outlined are acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, and physical touch. 

Gift Ideas   

Acts of Service 

For people who receive love primarily through acts of service, it’s most meaningful when their loved ones help them out by doing things like making them breakfast, taking over a chore for them, or running an errand for them. 

• Cooking them a meal

  • Bringing them breakfast in bed

• Making a “coupon book” with various chores and errands that the recipient can cash in when they want the giver to take over that task

• Give them a gift card for a home cleaning service

Receiving Gifts

For people who receive love primarily through receiving gifts, they feel loved when they receive meaningful tangible items. A common misconception is that people with this love language are greedy or materialistic; however, it’s not about what the item is but about giving them a tangible reminder that they are loved. For this love language, gift-giving is a little different because it will highly vary from person to person what will mean the most. 

• Consider a multi-part gift that requires opening several packages. This might be something like a spa set where each package has a different self-care item or a customized puzzle where you give them the pieces over a course of days and they have to figure out how to assemble it. If you’re not feeling inspired, there’s also a resource called The Days of Gifts that sends multi-day gift packages based on a questionnaire filled out by the giver. 

• Subscription-based gifts are another great “gift that keeps on giving” for your gift-receiving love language loved one.

• Something sentimental like a customized accessory with a photo attached to a fun memory

Quality Time

For people who receive love primarily through quality time, they feel the most loved when they get to spend uninterrupted time with their loved one. 

• Plan an adventure whether that’s a day trip to a nearby city or hiking or whatever other kind of excursion suits the recipient’s interests

• Make a date jar (regardless of whether it’s a romantic or platonic relationship!). Get a container (if you’re feeling crafty, you can decorate it too!) and fill it with slips of paper with ideas for ways you can spend time together

• Take a cooking class together 

Words of Affirmation

For people who receive love primarily through words of affirmation, they feel the most loved when their loved ones share written or spoken kind and complimentary words. 

• Make an affirmation jar! Similar to the concept of the date jar, this involves getting a container and filling it with slips of paper with compliments and kind words about the recipient

• Markup a favorite book with notes, inside jokes, and surprises like fun stickers

• Commission a photo word portrait. You send the artist any words, whether that’s a favorite poem or a letter you write yourself, and a photo and they combine the two to make a beautiful sentimental gift

Physical Touch 

For people who receive love primarily through physical touch, they feel the most loved when they get to be physically affectionate with their loved ones. 

• Buy some nice massage oils and give them a massage (this would likely be suitable only for romantic partners or close friends). If you’re not confident in your massage skills, book them a professional massage instead 

• Get them a weighted blanket, which many people find soothing and cozy 

• A “5 senses” gift where you pick out special items coordinating with each sense like their favorite snack for taste or their favorite cologne for smell
  

At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you put thought into your gifts because as long as you do that, it’s hard to go wrong. Even by reading this article, you clearly care about making your loved ones feel loved and are already putting thought into your gifts. Be thoughtful but don’t overthink or overly stress yourself out about it. Happy gift-giving!

*Disclaimer: ESW does not endorse the views of Gary Chapman. These examples are designed to correspond with the universal concept of the love languages and the general adoption of these concepts. For updated alternatives to the 5 love languages search "Speaking from the Heart: 18 Languages for Modern Love" by Anne Hodder-Shipp and Jaiya's “Erotic Blueprint.”