Sexuality Professionals Series: An Interview with Dr. Shemeka Thorpe

So, you want to learn more about the world of sexuality professionals. There is a vast variety of different routes within the world of sexuality-based careers. To get an idea of what the sexuality industry is really like, Embrace Sexual Wellness interviewed several sexuality professionals from different backgrounds. We will be sharing their wisdom and insight with you in a series of blog posts spotlighting each professional. Our first participant is Dr. Shemeka Thorpe (she/her), co-founder of The Minority Sex Report and Sex Researcher at the University of Kentucky.

Shemeka Thorpe, PhD is a sexuality researcher at the University of Kentucky. Her research focuses on the sexual well-being of Black women using sex-positive and intimate justice frameworks. She serves on the editorial board of the American Journal of Sexuality Education. Dr. Thorpe is the co-founder of the award-winning platform The Minority Sex Report, a platform created to provide representation in sexuality education primarily for Black and Native American women.

Sexuality research as a field originated with Dr. Alfred Kinsey at the Indiana University at Bloomington. In 1948, Kinsey published his groundbreaking — and controversial — "Sexual Behavior in the Human Male," which became a bestseller. "Sexual Behavior in the Human Female" was the even more controversial followup in 1953. Prior to this, the vast majority of formal research about human sexuality was scarce. The research that did exist was anecdotally based on patient-therapist interactions. Sex is such a quintessential and core aspect of human life and social interactions that it is necessary to explore its trends, changes, and variations from person to person. On a tangible level, sexuality research about reproductive health and adjacent topics informs the development of healthcare strategies, therapies, and other treatments.  

Sexuality researchers span a wide array of topics under the umbrella of human sexuality. For Dr. Thorpe, her main focus is the sexual wellbeing of Black women. To contextualize that further, a recent article she co-authored was entitled “Black Female Adolescents' Sexuality: Pleasure Expectancies, Sexual Guilt, & Age of Sexual Debut.” It “examined individual and familial influences on Black female adolescents’ sexual pleasure expectancies, sexual guilt, and age of sexual debut…” This type of research makes up the majority of her invaluable work on an underserved demographic. 

In addition to her research, she co-founded The Minority Sex Report. This business both educates and conducts consultations in order to facilitate better representation in sex education for people of color within an intersectional framework. 

What inspired you to pursue your career path? 
Most of the research on Black people focuses on prevention and operates from a deficit based model. I want to change the narrative of Black sexology by focusing on sexual well-being particularly of Black women. Who better to do that than myself, a Black woman?

How does your field differ from that of other sexuality professionals?
There are a lot of sex researchers and we are all in different fields like public health, counseling, social work, sociology, women and gender studies, and the like. We all come together to advance sex research, but examine our research questions through different lenses. 

What's the most misunderstood thing about what you do?
That I solely focus on pregnancy and STI prevention as a sexuality educator or HIV and STI prevention as a sex researcher. I believe in comprehensive sex positive sex education and my research is sex positive focusing on Black women's overall sexual well-being, not prevention. 

What is the most rewarding part of your career?
The most rewarding part is creating a space for Black women to discuss sexuality and sexual problems including sexual anxiety and sexual pain. Many women have expressed they wish they had this information when they were younger or that this is there first time talking about these tough topics because they don't have a safe space to talk about sex. 

What advice would you want to share with aspiring sexuality professionals?
There is always room for more sexuality professionals. Be yourself and find your niche.

If you had to describe your work in one sentence, what would you say?
Making research relevant.

Thank you to Dr. Thorpe for taking the time to share her perspective. We encourage you to find Dr. Thorpe on social media and her websites, linked below.

• Instagram: @drshemeka

• Facebook: Dr. Shemeka

• Website: drshemeka.com & theminoritysexreport.com 

Condoms for Coitus: Types of Condoms and Tips for Best Usage

Condoms get a bad rap. Most of that is made up of misconceptions though, which is why we’re here to clear them up. The reality is that condoms are an invaluable tool for safer sex. They are currently the only barrier method to effectively prevent the transmission of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). You may be thinking “but I don’t have any STIs!” but in actuality, you can have asymptomatic, yet still transmittable STIs. The only way to ensure you do not have an STI is to get tested regularly. Condoms help prevent the transmission of STIs. It should be noted, there is no shame around STIs; they’re natural and they happen. That being said, most people would prefer to avoid them! 

Types of Condoms

When you think of a condom, you probably think about a latex sheath that rolls over any phallic object, be that penis or otherwise. Within this category of external condoms, there are a variety of options that differ in effects and material. There are also internal condoms.

Here are a few of the most common types of condoms:

• External 

  • This is the condom you know and (maybe?) love. They are widely available, affordable, and 98% effective when used correctly. 

• Internal 

  • Internal condoms, much less popular than their inverted sibling, are essentially a pouch that's inserted in the vagina or anus. It works like other condoms, except that it's worn on the inside.

• Spermicide-coated

  • There are traditional condoms that are sold with a sperm-killing chemical on them. It is debatable whether the amount is significant enough to make a difference. The best bet, if you are interested in spermicide, would be to use a separate spermicide product in conjunction with condoms.

• Polyurethane

  • Polyurethane condoms are an option for anyone who has a latex allergy. The biggest downside is that these are slightly more prone to breakage which is not a great quality for a condom. This means it is even more important than usual to have an additional contraceptive method on board with these types of condoms. An upside of these condoms is that polyurethane tends to be thinner than latex and may offer a preferable sensation for the person wearing them.

• Flavored

  • Flavored condoms are exactly what they sound like: regular condoms that have flavors. These are best for oral sex, as opposed to vaginal or anal intercourse. As an aside, yes, you should be using condoms even for oral sex. The flavor has the potential to enhance the experience for the giver of oral sex but they should not be used inside any orifice of the body (e.g., vagina or anus) because the ingredients that create the flavor might cause irritation if used internally.

• Textured

  • Textured condoms are also exactly what they sound like: regular condoms but with texture. While the texture offers no protective benefit, it may provide additional pleasure for the recipient of intercourse. It can be fun to experiment with different textures and evaluate how they impact the sexual experience. 

Tips

• Always make sure your condom fits snugly but not so tightly it might break. Size is a huge factor in condom efficacy. 

• Do not reuse condoms. 

• Condoms expire! Regularly check their expiration date to make sure yours are still good to go; if not, they are far more likely to break. 

• If your condom is not already lubricated, apply lube to the body before insertion to decrease friction (high friction leads to breakage).

• Do not keep a condom in your wallet. The heat and friction are a recipe for breakage. 

• Find a condom that you enjoy the feeling of, or at the very least do not mind. This way, you’ll be far more likely to use them. 

• Do not use condoms with oil-based lubricant or any other oil-based product like baby oil or Vaseline. They will cause the condom to deteriorate. 

• Do not wear more than one condom. It’s unnecessary at best and can lead to breakage at worst. 

• For marathon sessions or longer sexual encounters, switch out condoms about every 30 minutes to prevent breakage. 

Happy National Condom Month! Now that you are aware of condom best practices, you can enjoy yourself while practicing safer sex with peace of mind.

A Simplified Guide To Safer [Oral] Sex

Blowjobs, fellatio, giving head, eating out, cunnilingus, rimming. These are all terms used to reference oral sex which is any activity that involves the mouth, lips, or tongue, to stimulate the genitals, or anus of a sex partner. According to the CDC, more than 85% of sexually-active adults (ages 18 to 44) reported having oral sex at least once with a partner, showing just how common oral sex is. 

The safest situation, other than abstaining from oral sex, is to only have oral sex if you are in a sexually monogamous relationship and you and your partner have both been tested recently. Not everyone is in this situation, and that should not deter you from having oral sex.   

Oral sex can be extremely pleasurable, but it is important to take precautions since STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection) transmission can occur. Here are some critical things to know when engaging in oral sex. 

1. A person can acquire an STI while participating in oral sex

According to the CDC, certain infections such as Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Herpes, HPV, and in rare occasions, HIV, can be transmitted during oral sex. Furthermore, according to Avert, a charity providing accurate and trusted information about HIV and sexual health, notes that if you are engaging in oral-anal sex you could contract infections such as hepatitis A and E.coli. There is generally a very low risk of HIV infection from oral sex unless the receptive partner is living with an STI and has genital sores, or the partner providing oral stimulation has an STI and is symptomatic with sores, warts, or bleeding gums.  

Not all STIs have symptoms and/or symptoms could be more subtle. The University of Florida's Student Health Care Center recommends “looking before you lick,” to check for lesions, growths, or unusual discharge in the genital area. If you notice any of these, hold off on oral sex until your partner gets tested since these symptoms may be due to STIs. Furthermore, according to Avert, infections can be passed on even if there are no obvious signs or symptoms, meaning you should be getting tested frequently. 

If you are sexually active, the best practice is to get tested for STIs frequently. The CDC provides extensive guidelines for how often you should get tested based on your demographic, but it is advisable to get tested with each new partner for full transparency. Furthermore, many are unaware of window periods, the time it takes for an STI to read as positive after it has been transmitted. While some STIs only take a week to show up on a test, some may take up to four months.

It is always important to discuss your safer sex plans with your partner(s) including your test history and results, any sexual health concerns you are currently experiencing, and how this information will inform your plans for practicing safer [oral] sex. Greatist provides a helpful template on how you can speak to new partners about your sexual health status. 

To learn more about STIs and how to talk about them head over to our  recent blog post, Discussing Your STI Status and Practicing Safer Sex. 

2.  Use barrier methods for protection 

A way to protect against STIs during oral sex is by using barrier methods such as condoms and dental dams. There are a variety of brands, styles, and flavors of barrier methods to choose from, which can be fun to mix it up. You and a sexual partner can get a variety of barrier methods and try out a new one every time you engage in oral sex! A good rule of thumb is to always have your barrier method of choice with you so that you can always engage in safer oral sex. Lastly, make sure to use a new barrier for each sex act. 

External Condoms

If you are giving oral sex and your partner has a penis, we recommend using an external condom to prevent the transmission of STIs. To learn more about how to use external condoms, visit our Instagram for an IGTV demonstration led by ESW associate, Marnie Spiegel.

Dental Dams

If your partner has a vulva, or you are stimulating your partner anally, we recommend using a dental dam. To use a dental dam, hold one side against your partner’s vulva or anus and lick the other side, making sure to never turn the dam over. This graphic from Healthline shows how to use a dental dam.

Source: Healthline

Experts also recommend using a dental dam if the receptive partner is menstruating because menstrual blood can carry bacteria and viruses. Sometimes it can be difficult to find dental dams on short notice. Dental dams cannot always be found at gas stations, grocery stores, or doctors’ offices, so Healthline recommends going to a local adult store that sells pleasure devices, lube, and condoms or ordering them online at stores such as World Condoms or Undercover Condoms. There’s no need to worry because you can make your own by cutting a condom lengthways from bottom to top/the tip to create a single piece of material that can be used as a dam. This graphic from Healthline illustrates how you can create a dental dam out of a condom.

Source: Healthline

Watch this video from University of Chicago’s Wellness Center that teaches you how to convert an external condom into an effective dental dam!

Finger Condoms

Finger cots, or more commonly known as finger condoms, can be used when fingering a vagina or anus. Elizabeth Boskey at Very Well Health states that finger condoms can be an effective barrier method if you are only using one finger. They can reduce the risk of certain STIS and are often more comfortable than gloves. They note that finger condoms can be found in some first aid aisles of drugstores, but you can also purchase them online or make them by cutting a finger off of a latex glove. You can also experiment with different flavors of barrier methods, to excite your tastebuds and make safer oral sex more enjoyable - we recommend the strawberry flavor.

3. Brushing your teeth or using mouthwash before and after engaging in oral sex can lead to infection

You may want your breath to smell good before “going down” on someone, but brushing your teeth can actually increase your risk of contracting an STI. According to the University of Georgia’s Health Center, flossing and brushing your teeth can cause your gums to bleed, thus irritating them and making it easier for an infection to pass from one partner to another. In a 2017 interview with Shape magazine, endodontist Gary Glassman, D.D.S shared that you should only be rinsing your mouth out with water, nothing else, before and after having oral sex.

Oral hygiene is a necessary part of having safer oral sex. According to the CDC, poor oral health can lead to tooth decay, gum disease, bleeding gums, and oral cancer, thus making it easier for STIs to be transmitted. Make sure you are brushing and flossing regularly!

4. If you think you have the common cold, hold off on oral sex, as you may have an oral infection

It is important to note that some oral infections can be easily confused with the common cold. Assistant professor of clinical medicine at Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago, Gil Weiss, M.D, reports that some symptoms of STIs (such as a sore throat, cough, fever, and enlarged lymph nodes in the neck) are similar to symptoms of a common cold. The University of Georgia’s Health Center recommends abstaining from oral sex if your partner has a cold sore on their mouth or they are living with sores, discharge, or unusual odors on their genitals as these may be signs of infection.

Oral sex is pleasurable, but can be made even more pleasurable if sexual safety is taken into account. If you are feeling nervous about having oral sex because you think you may be experiencing symptoms of an STI, we recommend you hold off on oral sex until you get tested. Keep these tips in mind as you engage in oral sex, but most importantly make sure you are having a pleasureful time! 

TLDR:

1. A person can acquire an STI while participating in oral sex

2. Use barrier methods for protection 

3. Brushing your teeth or using mouthwash before and after engaging in oral sex can lead to infection

4. If you think you have the common cold, hold off on oral sex, as you may have an oral infection