Embarking on the journey of a cancer diagnosis and subsequent treatment is undoubtedly a challenging road that can impact intimate relationships. The process of re-establishing sexual intimacy after cancer calls for a thoughtful approach—one grounded in understanding, open communication, and patience. In this article, we'll delve deeper into the potential effects of cancer on sexual health, discuss specific resources available, and provide detailed insights on how to approach the gradual process of rebuilding intimacy when the time feels right.
Understanding the Impact of Cancer on Sexual Functioning
Cancer and its treatment introduce physical changes that can significantly affect sexual functioning. Surgical procedures may alter body structures and tissues, and chemotherapy or radiation therapy can induce fatigue, pain, vaginal dryness and hormonal imbalances. Beyond the physical side effects, the emotional toll of a cancer diagnosis, marked by anxiety, depression, and uncertainty, can cast a shadow on libido and overall sexual well-being. It's important for individuals and their partners to grasp the nature of these changes and engage in open communication with healthcare providers, including oncologists, nurses, and specialists to gain valuable insights into managing these challenges effectively.
How do I support my intimate partner during cancer treatment?
Approaching intimacy after cancer treatment requires support from all individuals in a relationship. Here are considerations for the supportive partner:
Open Communication
Open communication serves as the cornerstone of navigating this sensitive terrain. Creating an environment where both partners can freely express their feelings, concerns, and desires is crucial. Encouraging your partner to share their experiences and being attentive to their emotional needs fosters a deeper understanding and connection.
Self-Educate
Taking the initiative to educate yourself about the potential physical and emotional changes resulting from cancer treatment is a proactive step. This knowledge equips you to provide informed support and navigate the journey together, demonstrating a commitment to shared understanding.
Practice Patience
Recognizing that rebuilding intimacy takes time is essential. Being patient with your partner and acknowledging that the process may involve ups and downs is key to fostering a supportive environment. Understanding that your partner's feelings and needs may evolve allows you to adapt your support accordingly, creating a foundation for resilience and growth.
Find your own support
Participating in counseling sessions or support groups as a couple is a collaborative approach that can strengthen the bond between partners. This shared experience enhances communication and provides practical tools to navigate the unique challenges that may arise in the aftermath of cancer treatment. Encouraging your partner to seek guidance from healthcare professionals, therapists, or sexologists who specialize in post-cancer intimacy is a proactive step toward holistic support. Professional guidance can offer tailored strategies and insights to address specific challenges, empowering both partners on the journey of rediscovering intimacy after cancer.
How do we approach intimacy after cancer?
Rebuilding intimacy necessitates a deliberate and patient approach. Open communication serves as the cornerstone of this process, where partners express their feelings, fears, and desires, fostering mutual understanding and empathy. Taking it slow is crucial. Initiating non-sexual forms of physical connection, such as cuddling or holding hands, can create a foundation for rebuilding intimacy at a pace comfortable for each partner.
Exploring sensate focus, a technique employed by sex therapists involves non-demanding, pleasurable touch without the expectation of sexual activity. This approach encourages partners to reconnect on a physical level, fostering a renewed sense of intimacy without the pressure of immediate sexual expectations.
Lastly, educating oneself about the potential physical and emotional changes resulting from cancer treatment is empowering. Understanding these changes reduces anxiety and contributes to a more supportive and empathetic relationship, with resources such as reputable websites, books, and pamphlets provided by healthcare professionals in the Chicagoland area offering valuable insights.
Resources for Cancer Support in Chicagoland
American Cancer Society: The American Cancer Society (ACS) is a vital support system for cancer patients, providing easily accessible information on different types of cancer, current treatments, and resources. Through initiatives like Relay For Life and educational programs, ACS promotes cancer awareness and fundraising for research. ACS also offers support services, such as transportation assistance and lodging for patients undergoing treatment. With a focus on community engagement and advocacy, the American Cancer Society plays a crucial role in supporting and empowering individuals affected by cancer.
Cancer Treatment Centers of America (CTCA) - Chicago: CTCA is dedicated to cancer care and offers a comprehensive approach to address the physical and emotional aspects of cancer treatment. They provide specialized support services and access to healthcare professionals well-versed in managing the unique challenges of post-cancer intimacy.
Cancer Wellness Center: Through supportive care and education, the Cancer Wellness Center seeks to improve the emotional and physical well-being of people affected by cancer. It is located in Northbrook, IL and all of their virtual and in-person programs are offered free of charge. Programs include support groups, counseling/therapy, educational programs, exercise and physical wellness programs, nutritional counseling, mind-body practices, and a resource center.
Gilda's Club Chicago: Gilda's Club is a community organization providing support and education to individuals and families impacted by cancer. They offer counseling services, support groups, and educational programs that address the emotional aspects of rebuilding intimacy.
National Cancer Institute: The National Cancer Institute (NCI) is a crucial resource for cancer patients, offering easy-to-understand information on various cancers and access to the latest treatments through clinical trials. NCI is dedicated to supporting patients by providing educational materials and promoting cancer prevention initiatives. With a focus on collaboration and patient-centered care, NCI plays a vital role in offering valuable support and fostering hope within the cancer community.
Northwestern Medicine Cancer Center - Chicago: Northwestern Medicine's Cancer Center in Chicago is renowned for its multidisciplinary approach to cancer care. The center provides access to oncologists, psychologists, and counselors who can offer guidance on managing the effects of cancer on sexual health.
University of Chicago Medicine Comprehensive Cancer Center: This center is a hub for cutting-edge cancer research and treatment. The Comprehensive Cancer Center offers support services and resources to help individuals navigate the challenges of post-cancer intimacy, including counseling and educational programs.
Wellness House - Hinsdale: Wellness House provides a variety of programs and services to support individuals and families affected by cancer. Their offerings include counseling, support groups, and educational workshops aimed at addressing the emotional and relational aspects of post-cancer life.
TLDR
Re-establishing intimacy after cancer treatment is a personal journey requiring patience and understanding. Partners can play a crucial role by fostering open communication, educating themselves about post-cancer changes, attending support sessions together, being patient, and encouraging professional guidance. Remember, the path to rebuilding intimacy is gradual, and prioritizing emotional connection lays the foundation for a fulfilling post-cancer sexual relationship.
Written by Seth Taylor, ALMFT
