Tips for Navigating Long Distance Intimacy

Long distance relationships are tough for everyone involved - who wants to be apart from their loved one(s)? Though nothing will quite sate the desire to be with them physically, there are ways to get everyone’s needs met. Over the past few years COVID forced us to innovate and find creative ways to stay connected. As a result, we've never had more tools available to make long distance relationships a bit easier. Before figuring out which of these options work best for your relationship, all partners involved should evaluate what they need to feel connected and satisfied, and then communicate that to each other. That will give you the information you need to choose the best option(s) for your relationship.

Some questions you should consider are:

  • What are your non-negotiable needs around connecting with your partner and how often do you need to connect to feel satisfied in your relationship? 

  • How often are you able and willing to text/call/video chat? 

  • What insecurities, if any, do you have about long distance relationships and what do you need from your partner(s) to help you manage those insecurities?

  • What ways, if any, do you need to be intentional about how you spend social time outside the relationship in order to feel socially satisfied? 

  • What are your primary love language(s) and how can they be fulfilled long distance? 

Once you establish those answers, you can get started looking into ways to connect, including the following suggestions: 

CASUAL COMMUNICATION

  • Send videos or audio messages to give your partner updates about your day 

  • Make “open when” letters

  • Send them a surprise $5 to get themselves a coffee  

SPENDING TIME TOGETHER

SEX

  • Try out a long distance remote control sex toy 

  • Print out sultry photos of yourself and mail it to them (as long as you have consent) 

  • Set aside time for sexting like you would carve out time for physical sex in order to be fully present and connected 

Long distance relationships are challenging but not insurmountable. With work, intentionality, and communication, it’s possible to have a full, satisfying relationship regardless of proximity.