STIs, also known as sexually transmitted infections, are important to be aware of whether you are sexually active or not. More than 1 million STIs are acquired every day worldwide, yet there remains a stigma surrounding them and those that have them. But shame can be reduced by learning the facts. Few STIs are life-threatening and most are treatable. Having an STI doesn’t mean that you are a ‘dirty’ person and is no different than contracting another type of infection, such as a sinus infection. Using the term ‘dirty’ is stigmatizing and hurtful. When we use the terms ‘clean’ and ‘dirty’ to describe sexual health we are implying that people with STIs are not healthy or moral people, which is not accurate and evokes shame. These terms are damaging to those who have STIs because it can make them feel as if there is something wrong with them.
Discuss Your STI Status Before You Have Sex
It can be difficult to talk to your partner about STIs, but it is an important conversation to have. Before having sex with a new partner it’s important to have a conversation about your STI status and expectations for getting tested. Even if you are using protection, such as condoms, that protect against STIs, you should regularly get tested to make sure that you are aware of your STI status. It is also critical to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to expectations for testing and safer sex practices.
It may make you more comfortable to have this conversation in a safe and private space. Make sure that you are alone and in a place where you feel comfortable to discuss private information. If you are having trouble beginning the conversation, that is okay. Some things you can ask about are your partner’s sexual history, if they typically have sex with or without protection, what barrier methods they are open to using (e.g, internal condoms, external condoms, dental dams), when was the last time they got tested and what those results were, and if they have ever had an STI before.
Develop Healthy Sex Practices
It is important to be open with your partner about what methods you will use to prevent STI transmission during sex. Creating an agreement is critical when beginning sex with a new partner so that you are on the same page about your expectations. Continue your dialogue about STI testing and status and make it clear that you want to engage in safer sex practices to protect against the transmisison of STIs.
To start off these conversations it can be helpful to let your partner know that you will be able to enjoy sex more if you know that you are in agreement about your sexual practices. Do you expect you or your partner to always wear a condom or use barriers like dental dams? Asking questions like these allow for you and your partner to create a clear plan together. If you are okay with them having sex with other people make it clear. It is important to be open about expectations if you and your partner are going to be sexually monogamous or not.
Get Tested
The most important thing you can do after having an open conversation with your partner is to get tested. The CDC has extensive recommendations for how often you should get tested based on gender identity, sexual orientation, and number of sexual partners. However, it is recommended that you get tested with each new partner so that there is total transparency. Many are unaware of the “window period”, the time it takes for an STI test to read as positive after it is transmitted. While some STIs only take a week to show up in a test, others may take up to four months.
STI and Sexual Health Hotlines
Lower-risk activities
If you or your partner has an STI, or if you are not comfortable having sex right away, Planned Parenthood has a comprehensive list of lower-risk activities to be sexually intimate with another person. Some of these activities include outercourse, all sexual acts other than vaginal intercourse, and mutual masturbation, but for a comprehensive list, visit Planned Parenthood’s website.
Remember that having an STI is nothing to be ashamed of. The best thing you can do is to encourage an open dialogue with each new partner and get tested regularly. There are a variety of options available for those who have an STI. There are treatments such as antibiotics and antiviral drugs that can help with symptoms and in some cases get rid of the infection. If you test positive for an STI remember that you are not alone. There are many resources to help you manage the outbreak.
