Exploring bi-curiosity: What does bi-curiosity mean and how is it different from bisexuality?

Sexuality is a spectrum and each individual falls somewhere on that spectrum but finding exactly where one fits is easier said than done. There are tons of labels that can be used to describe one’s experience of sexual attraction which are helpful to some people, while others choose to eschew labeling altogether. Sometimes people who are still exploring their sexual identity choose to use a lesser-known label like bi-curiosity.

As the name implies, bi-curiosity is closely related to bisexuality. Bi-curiosity - typically a term used by people who otherwise identify as heterosexual but also sometimes used by homosexual people - expresses an interest in exploring sexual and romantic relationships with multiple genders. This article aims to shed light on the concepts of bi-curiosity and bisexuality, the controversy around the term “bi-curiosity,” and resources for figuring out how you identify.      

How are bi-curiosity and bisexuality different?

Bisexuality is a sexual orientation for people who experience the potential for romantic and/or sexual attraction to two or more genders. The main distinguishing feature between bi-curiosity and bisexuality is the degree of certainty about one’s sexual orientation. Bisexual people are certain that at that moment, to the best of their knowledge, they are attracted to multiple or all genders, while bicurious people are uncertain about how they identify but believe that they have the potential to be attracted to multiple or all genders. In other words, bisexuality is an established sexual orientation, while bi-curiosity more closely resembles a phase of questioning or uncertainty. This distinction gets muddy when you factor in that sexuality is fluid and changes over time. Generally speaking, however, this is how the associations with each label differ. Not everyone agrees that the two should be distinguished at all, which leads to the controversy around bi-curiosity.       

Why is bi-curiosity controversial?   

Bi-curious is a controversial label within the bisexual community. Here are a few reasons bisexual people might take issue with the label bi-curiosity:

• It implies that you need to have a certain level of sexual experience before being able to “prove” that you are definitively bisexual.

• Bisexuality as an orientation is often undermined and not taken seriously. The existence of bi-curiosity feeds into the narrative that bisexuality means that you are confused and that it is a phase, a stepping stone on the way to “deciding” if you are actually gay or straight. 

• Many queer people have experienced being objectified and used as an experiment by an uncertain person such as a bi-curious person. There is no problem with exploration itself, but rather with using queer people as a means to an end, a tool to help an uncertain person figure themselves out.

• “Bi-curiosity” is a redundant label given that anyone who believes they have the potential for attraction to two or more genders falls under the umbrella of bisexuality. Since sexual orientation is inherently fluid, meaning it could change at any time and so too would one’s identity, a term that specifically highlights the uncertainty of identifying as bisexual is unnecessary since any label can be impermanent. 

If you feel that bi-curious is a productive label for you, it is not up to other people to decide that is not the case. With that being said, it is helpful to be aware of other terms that might serve a similar purpose, such as “questioning,” “queer,” or fully leaning into identifying as “bisexual” with the knowledge that you can change your mind at any time. 

Takeaway

Ultimately, it is up to the individual to decide what fits best but try to ensure that in the process you are respectful of the queer community, aware of the nuances of the subject, and are genuinely invested in responsible self-exploration. If you are still feeling lost in your sexual orientation journey, consider reaching out to a therapist and checking out the resources below: 

Bicurious: What Does It Mean? | WebMD 

Bicurious - What does bi-curious mean? | Cosmopolitan 

What is Bisexuality?

What is bicuriosity? | Definition, history, and bicuriosity in pop culture

Is it time to move past bicurious?

Can I Identify as Bisexual? 

What Does It Mean to Be Bi-Curious? 15 Things to Consider           

Sugar Dating: What to Know About Sugar Babies and Sugar Daddies

Sugar dating is a mutually beneficial relationship dynamic that involves financial benefits in exchange for companionship. Sugar daddies and mommies will give sugar babies money, experiences, networking, and/or gifts in exchange for companionship and/or intimacy. Each individual dynamic is unique to the people involved, and therefore the specifics of the exchange vary as well. Sometimes the exchange involves sex and physical intimacy, while others involve only companionship. The most common pairing is an older, wealthy man and a younger woman, but people of all ages and genders can participate in sugar dating. Sugar dating is particularly popular among college students looking for financial support for school. In this blog, we will explore the concept of sugar dating, risks, and safety tips for people interested in being a sugar baby.   

How much do sugar babies make from sugar dating?

This part of sugar dating is, once again, unique to the people involved. Arrangements can involve a pay-per-date model, a consistent monthly allowance, networking and mentorship, and/or non-cash gifts. While the details of each arrangement cause a sugar baby’s income to vary greatly, it is estimated that sugar babies earn an average of $2800 USD per month from a sugar parent. It is up to the people in the relationship to decide what exchange makes the most sense. Some sugar babies need consistent financial assistance, while others are simply seeking a more lavish lifestyle. These different motivations will affect the compensation a sugar baby is seeking. For a sugar parent, considerations for what they want to provide include their income and what they want out of a sugaring relationship.    

What are the risks of sugar dating and how do sugar babies stay safe?  

As with any dynamic involving intimacy, such as non-sugar dating, there will be risks due to the vulnerability involved. The nature of the exchange, almost exclusively involving an economically stable person with an economically unstable person, which inherently creates a power imbalance. The danger of this is that it can lead to harassment, assault, and manipulation. Most of the dangers, however, are not unique to sugar dating, but when monetary gain and a power imbalance are involved, it is especially important to be vigilant about safety. That being said, there are also many instances of safe, healthy sugar dating practices.

Here are some tips to help sugar babies stay safe while sugar dating:

1. Meet for the first time in a public place and handle your own transportation to and from the date. Tell a trusted person where you will be and share your location, if possible.

2. Video chat or call the potential sugar parent before meeting in person. Calling is a good way to get a sense of a person’s personality and will also give you a better gut feeling about whether or not you can trust them, as opposed to over text.

3. Use a Google Voice number instead of your cell number. Using an alternative phone number for your sugaring life helps you maintain separation between that and the rest of your life. Furthermore, it avoids giving an unknown individual a piece of private information that can be used to look you up or find additional details about you.

4. Maintain a degree of privacy about your personal life. You do not have to share every aspect of your life with a sugar parent. You can choose to use an alias and decide to keep details like where you live and the name of your school or workplace. In the event that things go south, a sugar parent can use these details against you.

5. Keep an eye out for scammers. Money is a big incentive for many people, and scammers prey on that to manipulate potential sugar babies and get money from them. These scams use a few different methods, such as making a fake transaction that is later contested by the scammer, asking for gift cards, or acquiring a sugar baby’s bank account details.

6. Stick to your boundaries, including not ignoring red flags solely because of potential financial gain. Though it is tempting to compromise on your gut feeling when a potential influx of money is on the line, gut feelings and boundaries exist for a reason; it is unwise to ignore them. This is easier said than done, especially for people who need the supplemental income for necessities. However, it puts you at the risk of being scammed and/or harmed.

7. Never provide your bank information to a sugar parent. Use services like Paypal or Venmo instead.Sugar dating is an alternative approach to traditional relationships, where financial support and companionship intertwine into an exchange. While sugar dating can be a lucrative opportunity for some, it is essential to navigate this dynamic with caution and prioritize personal safety. By maintaining personal boundaries and utilizing the outlined safety tips, sugar babies can strive for a safe and mutually beneficial sugar dating experience.

Ultimately, sugar dating is a personal choice that requires careful consideration, open communication, and the ability to establish clear boundaries to ensure a positive and secure experience for all parties involved.   

Prostate Stimulation: Benefits, Debunking Myths, and Getting Started

The prostate, a small gland between the bladder and the rectum, has gained increased attention recently for its potential pleasure and health benefits. While historically associated with male sexual pleasure in the context of cisgender, heterosexual relationships, it's important to recognize that prostate stimulation can bring pleasure and health benefits to all individuals with a prostate, regardless of their sexual or gender identity. In this article, we will explore the benefits of prostate stimulation, debunk myths and misconceptions, and provide evidence-based information for individuals of all sexual identities to embrace and explore this often-overlooked aspect of sexual health.

What are the benefits of prostate stimulation?

The prostate gland is an erogenous zone; prostate stimulation can result in pleasurable sensations and even orgasms. However, the benefits of prostate stimulation go beyond sexual pleasure. Research has shown that regular prostate stimulation can have various health benefits. Some potential benefits of prostate stimulation may include the following:

1. Improved prostate health

Prostate stimulation can help release prostatic fluid (a fluid important for the proper functioning of sperm cells and fertility in people with a prostate), which may help reduce the risk of inflammation, infection, and prostate-related health issues such as benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) and prostatitis. Prostate health may or may not be something you have on your mind, but education on the topic can help you stay on top of your prostate health.

2. Enhanced sexual function

Prostate stimulation can improve sexual function by increasing blood flow to the pelvic area, enhancing sensitivity and pleasure, and potentially helping with issues such as erectile dysfunction (ED).

3. Reduced stress and improved well-being

Prostate stimulation can promote relaxation and stress reduction, similar to other forms of sexual activity. Reduced stress can also improve physical health by lowering the risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, weakened immune function, and other stress-related issues. It can also lead to enhanced mental well-being, better cognitive functioning, increased productivity, improved sleep quality, and strengthen relationships.

4. Enhanced emotional intimacy 

Prostate stimulation can be a form of sexual exploration and intimacy with a partner that promotes emotional bonding and intimacy. Given the historical stigma of prostate stimulation, many people with a prostate have never explored this part of their body and may feel vulnerable. Whether for health, pleasure or whatever your reasoning, including a partner in your process, may deepen intimacy and understanding between each other and each other’s bodies.

What are some myths and misconceptions about prostate stimulation?

Despite the potential benefits of prostate stimulation, several myths and misconceptions may discourage individuals from exploring this aspect of their sexual health. Let's debunk some of these myths with evidence-based information:

Myth #1: Prostate stimulation is only for homosexual cis men. This is a common misconception. Prostate stimulation can bring pleasure and health benefits to all individuals with a prostate, regardless of their sexual or gender identity.

Myth #2: Prostate stimulation is only for individuals with specific health conditions. While prostate stimulation may be therapeutic for certain prostate-related health conditions, such as prostatitis or BPH, it can also be a pleasurable and healthy sexual practice for individuals without specific health concerns.

Myth #3: Prostate stimulation is painful or dangerous. With proper technique, lubrication and communication, prostate stimulation should not be painful or dangerous. It's important to start slowly, use appropriate tools (such as prostate massagers or fingers), and communicate with your partner (if applicable) to ensure a safe and pleasurable experience.

Myth #4: Prostate stimulation is not "normal" or "acceptable" for individuals with diverse sexual identities. Prostate stimulation has nothing to do with one's sexual orientation, gender identity, or acceptability. It's a normal aspect of human anatomy and sexual health, and all individuals with a prostate, regardless of their sexual identity, have the potential to experience pleasure and health benefits from prostate stimulation.

How do I begin exploring prostate stimulation?

If you are interested in exploring prostate stimulation, here are some tips for getting started:

Educate yourself.

Learn about the prostate's anatomy, different prostate stimulation techniques, and potential health benefits. Refer to reputable sources such as medical journals, sexual health websites, and educational resources on sexual health and anatomy. Some books I’d recommend include “Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners” by Charlie Glickman, “Anal Pleasure and Health: A Guide for Men, Women and Couples” by Jack Morin Ph.D., and “The Guide to Getting It On” by Paul Joannides.

Communicate with your partner.

Open and honest communication is crucial if you have a partner. Discuss your interests, desires, and concerns about prostate stimulation, and make sure you both have clear boundaries and consent.

Use proper techniques and tools.

Proper technique for prostate milking and appropriate tools, such as prostate massagers, finger gloves or finger condoms, prostate stimulating tools, and prostate vibrators, are important for a safe and pleasurable experience. Start slowly and gently, using plenty of lubrication, and listen to your body's cues. 

Practice self-care.

Like any sexual activity, self-care is important for prostate stimulation. Pay attention to your body, take breaks when needed, and prioritize your physical and emotional well-being.

Consult with a healthcare professional.

If you have any specific health concerns or medical conditions related to the prostate, it's always best to consult a healthcare professional. They can provide personalized advice and guidance based on your individual health needs.

Takeaways

Prostate stimulation is a pleasurable and healthy aspect of sexual health that can benefit all individuals with a prostate. It's important to debunk myths and misconceptions, educate ourselves, communicate with our partners, and prioritize self-care when exploring prostate stimulation. Remember that sexual health is a personal and individual aspect of our lives, and everyone has the right to investigate and enjoy their unique pleasures and experiences.