#safety

Sugar Dating: What to Know About Sugar Babies and Sugar Daddies

Sugar dating is a mutually beneficial relationship dynamic that involves financial benefits in exchange for companionship. Sugar daddies and mommies will give sugar babies money, experiences, networking, and/or gifts in exchange for companionship and/or intimacy. Each individual dynamic is unique to the people involved, and therefore the specifics of the exchange vary as well. Sometimes the exchange involves sex and physical intimacy, while others involve only companionship. The most common pairing is an older, wealthy man and a younger woman, but people of all ages and genders can participate in sugar dating. Sugar dating is particularly popular among college students looking for financial support for school. In this blog, we will explore the concept of sugar dating, risks, and safety tips for people interested in being a sugar baby.   

How much do sugar babies make from sugar dating?

This part of sugar dating is, once again, unique to the people involved. Arrangements can involve a pay-per-date model, a consistent monthly allowance, networking and mentorship, and/or non-cash gifts. While the details of each arrangement cause a sugar baby’s income to vary greatly, it is estimated that sugar babies earn an average of $2800 USD per month from a sugar parent. It is up to the people in the relationship to decide what exchange makes the most sense. Some sugar babies need consistent financial assistance, while others are simply seeking a more lavish lifestyle. These different motivations will affect the compensation a sugar baby is seeking. For a sugar parent, considerations for what they want to provide include their income and what they want out of a sugaring relationship.    

What are the risks of sugar dating and how do sugar babies stay safe?  

As with any dynamic involving intimacy, such as non-sugar dating, there will be risks due to the vulnerability involved. The nature of the exchange, almost exclusively involving an economically stable person with an economically unstable person, which inherently creates a power imbalance. The danger of this is that it can lead to harassment, assault, and manipulation. Most of the dangers, however, are not unique to sugar dating, but when monetary gain and a power imbalance are involved, it is especially important to be vigilant about safety. That being said, there are also many instances of safe, healthy sugar dating practices.

Here are some tips to help sugar babies stay safe while sugar dating:

  1. Meet for the first time in a public place and handle your own transportation to and from the date. Tell a trusted person where you will be and share your location, if possible.

  2. Video chat or call the potential sugar parent before meeting in person. Calling is a good way to get a sense of a person’s personality and will also give you a better gut feeling about whether or not you can trust them, as opposed to over text.

  3. Use a Google Voice number instead of your cell number. Using an alternative phone number for your sugaring life helps you maintain separation between that and the rest of your life. Furthermore, it avoids giving an unknown individual a piece of private information that can be used to look you up or find additional details about you.

  4. Maintain a degree of privacy about your personal life. You do not have to share every aspect of your life with a sugar parent. You can choose to use an alias and decide to keep details like where you live and the name of your school or workplace. In the event that things go south, a sugar parent can use these details against you.

  5. Keep an eye out for scammers. Money is a big incentive for many people, and scammers prey on that to manipulate potential sugar babies and get money from them. These scams use a few different methods, such as making a fake transaction that is later contested by the scammer, asking for gift cards, or acquiring a sugar baby’s bank account details.

  6. Stick to your boundaries, including not ignoring red flags solely because of potential financial gain. Though it is tempting to compromise on your gut feeling when a potential influx of money is on the line, gut feelings and boundaries exist for a reason; it is unwise to ignore them. This is easier said than done, especially for people who need the supplemental income for necessities. However, it puts you at the risk of being scammed and/or harmed.

  7. Never provide your bank information to a sugar parent. Use services like Paypal or Venmo instead.Sugar dating is an alternative approach to traditional relationships, where financial support and companionship intertwine into an exchange. While sugar dating can be a lucrative opportunity for some, it is essential to navigate this dynamic with caution and prioritize personal safety. By maintaining personal boundaries and utilizing the outlined safety tips, sugar babies can strive for a safe and mutually beneficial sugar dating experience.

Ultimately, sugar dating is a personal choice that requires careful consideration, open communication, and the ability to establish clear boundaries to ensure a positive and secure experience for all parties involved.   

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Worried About Personal Safety as a Trans Person? Tips for the Trans Community and Allies

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In light of current political turmoil and discrimination surrounding the transgender and non-binary population, it’s more important than ever for transgender people to be equipped with knowledge to navigate the world as safely as possible. In data released in October 2022 by Everytown for Gun Safety, the number of trans people murdered in the U.S. nearly doubled between 2017 and 2021. There is a constant barrage of mocking pronouns and non-cisgender gender identities by politicians and the public alike. Extremists at the 2023 Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) have called for the eradication of transgender people. It is a deeply scary time to be a trans person especially if you live in a hostile home and/or geographic region. In such a circumstance, there are unfortunately no infallible safety methods, but there are precautions you can take to increase your chances of staying safe.

How Can I Maximize My Safety? 

It’s a good idea to have at least a loose grasp of your region’s political climate so you understand your surroundings better. You should also be aware of the factors that make you an easier target. Unfortunately, trans people who don’t “pass” as a cisgender person are more likely to be harmed, and feminine-presenting trans people are also more likely to be harmed since women are already at a higher risk of experiencing violence. Understanding these factors will help you navigate how cautious you need to be.  

Safety Tips

  • Seek out a local or online self-defense class

  • Navigate public spaces with a trusted friend or family member whenever possible, especially at night

  • Stay alert in public spaces – try to stay off your phone while walking

  • If someone tries to assault you verbally or physically, get loud; this will hopefully scare off the perpetrator and if not, it may get the attention of a good samaritan who can intervene

  • Leave a trail before going out: make sure someone you trust knows where you will be

  • If you live in a hostile home environment, consider compiling a “get away bag” in the event that you need to make a hasty exit for your safety

  • Check out this safety planning tool by Forge, a transgender support organization

  • Seek out the support of a trans supportive organization for funding to access gender-affirming care and/or to move somewhere safer

Forging Community

Building a small community of supportive people in your life to offset the detrimental effects on mental health of the transgender discrimination you will likely face is a vital lifeline. This can be a difficult task if you live in a hostile geographic region; you can try Googling your location plus keywords like “trans support,” “LGBTQ support group,” and “LGBTQ resources.” If that ends up being a fruitless endeavor, it’s time to turn to the internet.

Having friends solely online may not be as fulfilling as friends you can see face to face for most people but it is a far better option than feeling completely isolated in a discriminatory environment.

Here are some online support group options:

Tips for Trans Allies

Being a trans ally is more important than ever. Cisgender people have privilege compared to transgender people and leveraging that privilege is integral to fighting for trans rights and safety.

  • Educate yourself on key terminology relating to gender and the political and wellbeing issues surrounding the trans community 

  • Do not take the liberty of sharing someone’s transgender status with anyone who doesn’t already know. As the LGBTQ organization GLAAD puts it, “Do not casually share this information, speculate, or gossip about a person you know or think is transgender. Not only is this an invasion of privacy, it also can have negative consequences in a world that is very intolerant of gender diversity.”

  • Do not ask invasive questions about a transgender person’s gender assigned at birth or their anatomy

  • Challenge anti-trans rhetoric in conversation; cisgender privilege allows you to do so with much less risk of compromising your personal safety than if a transgender person were to do so

  • Read this comprehensive guide to being an ally for more actionable steps or visit ESW’s resource page

The most important thing to remember as a trans person is that being trans is not bad or wrong and the issues with being transgender have to do with hate and vitriol from bigots, not the inherent nature of being trans. Try to indulge in consuming trans joy content when you feel particularly down about being trans because the reality is that being trans is a beautiful thing and you deserve to feel happy and safe. Your challenges and struggles are real and valid, and they don’t define your wholeness.  

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