Sexuality is a spectrum and each individual falls somewhere on that spectrum but finding exactly where one fits is easier said than done. There are tons of labels that can be used to describe one’s experience of sexual attraction which are helpful to some people, while others choose to eschew labeling altogether. Sometimes people who are still exploring their sexual identity choose to use a lesser-known label like bi-curiosity.
As the name implies, bi-curiosity is closely related to bisexuality. Bi-curiosity - typically a term used by people who otherwise identify as heterosexual but also sometimes used by homosexual people - expresses an interest in exploring sexual and romantic relationships with multiple genders. This article aims to shed light on the concepts of bi-curiosity and bisexuality, the controversy around the term “bi-curiosity,” and resources for figuring out how you identify.
How are bi-curiosity and bisexuality different?
Bisexuality is a sexual orientation for people who experience the potential for romantic and/or sexual attraction to two or more genders. The main distinguishing feature between bi-curiosity and bisexuality is the degree of certainty about one’s sexual orientation. Bisexual people are certain that at that moment, to the best of their knowledge, they are attracted to multiple or all genders, while bicurious people are uncertain about how they identify but believe that they have the potential to be attracted to multiple or all genders. In other words, bisexuality is an established sexual orientation, while bi-curiosity more closely resembles a phase of questioning or uncertainty. This distinction gets muddy when you factor in that sexuality is fluid and changes over time. Generally speaking, however, this is how the associations with each label differ. Not everyone agrees that the two should be distinguished at all, which leads to the controversy around bi-curiosity.
Why is bi-curiosity controversial?
Bi-curious is a controversial label within the bisexual community. Here are a few reasons bisexual people might take issue with the label bi-curiosity:
It implies that you need to have a certain level of sexual experience before being able to “prove” that you are definitively bisexual.
Bisexuality as an orientation is often undermined and not taken seriously. The existence of bi-curiosity feeds into the narrative that bisexuality means that you are confused and that it is a phase, a stepping stone on the way to “deciding” if you are actually gay or straight.
Many queer people have experienced being objectified and used as an experiment by an uncertain person such as a bi-curious person. There is no problem with exploration itself, but rather with using queer people as a means to an end, a tool to help an uncertain person figure themselves out.
“Bi-curiosity” is a redundant label given that anyone who believes they have the potential for attraction to two or more genders falls under the umbrella of bisexuality. Since sexual orientation is inherently fluid, meaning it could change at any time and so too would one’s identity, a term that specifically highlights the uncertainty of identifying as bisexual is unnecessary since any label can be impermanent.
If you feel that bi-curious is a productive label for you, it is not up to other people to decide that is not the case. With that being said, it is helpful to be aware of other terms that might serve a similar purpose, such as “questioning,” “queer,” or fully leaning into identifying as “bisexual” with the knowledge that you can change your mind at any time.
Takeaway
Ultimately, it is up to the individual to decide what fits best but try to ensure that in the process you are respectful of the queer community, aware of the nuances of the subject, and are genuinely invested in responsible self-exploration. If you are still feeling lost in your sexual orientation journey, consider reaching out to a therapist and checking out the resources below:
Bicurious: What Does It Mean? | WebMD
Bicurious - What does bi-curious mean? | Cosmopolitan
What is bicuriosity? | Definition, history, and bicuriosity in pop culture
