Prostate Stimulation: Benefits, Debunking Myths, and Getting Started

Written by Seth Taylor, ALMFT

The prostate, a small gland between the bladder and the rectum, has gained increased attention recently for its potential pleasure and health benefits. While historically associated with male sexual pleasure in the context of cisgender, heterosexual relationships, it's important to recognize that prostate stimulation can bring pleasure and health benefits to all individuals with a prostate, regardless of their sexual or gender identity. In this article, we will explore the benefits of prostate stimulation, debunk myths and misconceptions, and provide evidence-based information for individuals of all sexual identities to embrace and explore this often-overlooked aspect of sexual health.

What are the benefits of prostate stimulation?

The prostate gland is an erogenous zone; prostate stimulation can result in pleasurable sensations and even orgasms. However, the benefits of prostate stimulation go beyond sexual pleasure. Research has shown that regular prostate stimulation can have various health benefits. Some potential benefits of prostate stimulation may include the following:

1. Improved prostate health

Prostate stimulation can help release prostatic fluid (a fluid important for the proper functioning of sperm cells and fertility in people with a prostate), which may help reduce the risk of inflammation, infection, and prostate-related health issues such as benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) and prostatitis. Prostate health may or may not be something you have on your mind, but education on the topic can help you stay on top of your prostate health.

2. Enhanced sexual function

Prostate stimulation can improve sexual function by increasing blood flow to the pelvic area, enhancing sensitivity and pleasure, and potentially helping with issues such as erectile dysfunction (ED).

3. Reduced stress and improved well-being

Prostate stimulation can promote relaxation and stress reduction, similar to other forms of sexual activity. Reduced stress can also improve physical health by lowering the risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, weakened immune function, and other stress-related issues. It can also lead to enhanced mental well-being, better cognitive functioning, increased productivity, improved sleep quality, and strengthen relationships.

4. Enhanced emotional intimacy 

Prostate stimulation can be a form of sexual exploration and intimacy with a partner that promotes emotional bonding and intimacy. Given the historical stigma of prostate stimulation, many people with a prostate have never explored this part of their body and may feel vulnerable. Whether for health, pleasure or whatever your reasoning, including a partner in your process, may deepen intimacy and understanding between each other and each other’s bodies.

What are some myths and misconceptions about prostate stimulation?

Despite the potential benefits of prostate stimulation, several myths and misconceptions may discourage individuals from exploring this aspect of their sexual health. Let's debunk some of these myths with evidence-based information:

Myth #1: Prostate stimulation is only for homosexual cis men. This is a common misconception. Prostate stimulation can bring pleasure and health benefits to all individuals with a prostate, regardless of their sexual or gender identity.

Myth #2: Prostate stimulation is only for individuals with specific health conditions. While prostate stimulation may be therapeutic for certain prostate-related health conditions, such as prostatitis or BPH, it can also be a pleasurable and healthy sexual practice for individuals without specific health concerns.

Myth #3: Prostate stimulation is painful or dangerous. With proper technique, lubrication and communication, prostate stimulation should not be painful or dangerous. It's important to start slowly, use appropriate tools (such as prostate massagers or fingers), and communicate with your partner (if applicable) to ensure a safe and pleasurable experience.

Myth #4: Prostate stimulation is not "normal" or "acceptable" for individuals with diverse sexual identities. Prostate stimulation has nothing to do with one's sexual orientation, gender identity, or acceptability. It's a normal aspect of human anatomy and sexual health, and all individuals with a prostate, regardless of their sexual identity, have the potential to experience pleasure and health benefits from prostate stimulation.

How do I begin exploring prostate stimulation?

If you are interested in exploring prostate stimulation, here are some tips for getting started:

Educate yourself.

Learn about the prostate's anatomy, different prostate stimulation techniques, and potential health benefits. Refer to reputable sources such as medical journals, sexual health websites, and educational resources on sexual health and anatomy. Some books I’d recommend include “Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners” by Charlie Glickman, “Anal Pleasure and Health: A Guide for Men, Women and Couples” by Jack Morin Ph.D., and “The Guide to Getting It On” by Paul Joannides.

Communicate with your partner.

Open and honest communication is crucial if you have a partner. Discuss your interests, desires, and concerns about prostate stimulation, and make sure you both have clear boundaries and consent.

Use proper techniques and tools.

Proper technique for prostate milking and appropriate tools, such as prostate massagers, finger gloves or finger condoms, prostate stimulating tools, and prostate vibrators, are important for a safe and pleasurable experience. Start slowly and gently, using plenty of lubrication, and listen to your body's cues. 

Practice self-care.

Like any sexual activity, self-care is important for prostate stimulation. Pay attention to your body, take breaks when needed, and prioritize your physical and emotional well-being.

Consult with a healthcare professional.

If you have any specific health concerns or medical conditions related to the prostate, it's always best to consult a healthcare professional. They can provide personalized advice and guidance based on your individual health needs.

Takeaways

Prostate stimulation is a pleasurable and healthy aspect of sexual health that can benefit all individuals with a prostate. It's important to debunk myths and misconceptions, educate ourselves, communicate with our partners, and prioritize self-care when exploring prostate stimulation. Remember that sexual health is a personal and individual aspect of our lives, and everyone has the right to investigate and enjoy their unique pleasures and experiences.

Sexual Senescence: How Sexuality Changes with Age and What to Do About It

The only constant in life is change and sexuality is no exception. Over the course of a lifetime, a litany of factors will affect one’s sexuality and relationship with sex, including, but not limited to, age, biological sex, physical ability, hormonal changes, life circumstances, body image, and trauma. Even though it is common for one’s sexuality to evolve over a lifetime, the relationship between aging and sex, sometimes referred to as “sexual senescence,” remains shrouded in taboo and misconceptions. One such ageist misconception is that seniors do not experience sexual desire or have sex. This is an inaccurate assessment, many seniors do maintain a thriving sex life. In fact, many people feel that they have a more fulfilling sex life in older age because they know more about what they like and how to communicate it. This article is for seniors who want to have sex but are feeling limited by the effects of senescence. It will discuss the common limitations for seniors interested in having sex and how to address them.     

How does sex change with age?

Changes in sexual function are a common part of the aging process, though they are not universally experienced in the same way by all individuals. The impact of menopause and andropause is a key factor influencing sexual health and desire in later life. Medically speaking, menopause officially begins 12 months after a menstruating person’s last period. That being said, menopause is preceded by perimenopause, which can also present with symptoms that are disruptive to your sex life like lower libido. Menopausal people might experience vaginal dryness, atrophy, or a drop in estrogen levels, which can impact their enjoyment of sex. Similarly, andropausal people may experience a drop in testosterone levels and accordingly, erectile dysfunction which could impact their enjoyment of sex.

How can I improve my sexual health during aging?

Fortunately, there are some interventions to help with these hormonal changes. Lubricants, regular moisturizing, longer foreplay and estrogen therapy can help relieve vaginal dryness brought on by menopause. Andropause can cause erectile dysfunction which can be addressed with medications and healthful habits. Such medical interventions include testosterone therapy and oral medications like sildenafil or tadalafil. Consider talking to your doctor about your specific concerns and how to best address them.

Does sexual dysfunction increase with age?

Due to hormonal changes and other factors such as disability, medication, and energy levels, low libido is not uncommon among seniors. Depending on the cause of your low libido, the intervention will look different. Fortunately, you do not have to simply resign yourself to these obstacles and there are options for addressing low libido and desire discrepancy in a relationship.  

How do you maintain sexual health in older age?

Since conception is often less relevant in late adulthood, some people are tempted to take fewer precautions to practice safer sex. Unfortunately, age does not protect people from contracting sexually transmitted infections. This means it’s still important to use safer sex practices. Condoms, vaccinations, and regular testing are great ways to minimize the risk of STI transmission. 

 An active, fulfilling sex life is possible at any age. What is normal for one person or partnership varies, so it is most important to figure out how to approach sexuality as you age based on your specific needs. Remember that penetrative sex is not the only way to be intimate with someone. You could explore using sex toys, trying more solo and/or mutual masturbation, giving each other massages, oral sex, or skin to skin cuddling. As your needs, wants, and capabilities evolve, your approach to addressing them has to evolve too. If you have limitations due to aging that prevent you from engaging in specific sexual activities, that does not mean forgoing a great sex life.   

Takeaways

The most important part of navigating your evolving relationship with sexuality is to keep an open line of communication between you and your partner(s) about what you want and what works best for you in approaching your sex life. If you need emotional and logistical support figuring out how to supplement your sex life, consider working with a therapist.    

Meeting your Partner's Partner: What to expect when you meet a metamour?

Metamour is a term relating to non-monogamy that refers to your partner’s partner. Whether or not you’re interested in meeting your metamour(s) is a personal decision for each individual and each polycule. Wanting or not wanting to meet a metamour are both valid decisions. That being said, consider practicing some self-reflection either way about the motivations behind your decision. If you do want to meet a metamour is it, for instance, because you want to exert control over their relationship with your partner? If you don’t want to meet them, is that discomfort rooted in insecurity or anxiety about your relationship? Knowing your motivations will provide you more insight into where your boundaries and comfort zone lie. Additionally, familiarizing yourself with your motivations can allow you the space to share and process those feelings with your partner so everyone is on the same page. For those who are interested in meeting a metamour, this article will serve as a guide for what to expect and address common concerns about meeting a metamour. 

As intimidating as the idea of meeting a partner’s partner is, the great news is that you already have something in common: caring about your partner! Furthermore, one of the most useful parts of meeting a metamour for many non-monogamous people, especially those who struggle with jealousy, meeting a metamour is one of the best ways to disrupt the idealization of them in your head that often makes them feel more threatening to you. Meeting them humanizes them.

Regardless of how secure you feel in your relationship, meeting a metamour for the first time is almost always nerve wracking. Here are some tips to make it as comfortable as possible for everyone involved:

1. Meet in a neutral location like a cafe or a park rather than someone’s home so that no one has the “home advantage.” 

2. Have an idea of how much time you’d like to spend with your metamour. Nothing has to be scheduled in stone, but having an idea of when you’ll part ways to process the meeting might help soothe your nerves and avoid awkwardness around the departure. 

3. Make plans with your partner both to talk about how the meeting went and, separately, something fun you can do together to nurture your connection.

4. Understand that your metamour is probably just as nervous as you and, if it would assuage your nerves, you can express that nervousness upfront. For example, you could say something like “Hi, I’m so glad we’re finally meeting! Full disclosure I’m feeling a bit nervous but I’m excited to sit down and get to know you better.”

5. Think about what relationship logistics you want to talk about with your metamour. You’re not obligated to do so but if you want to talk about things like safer sex practices, boundaries, and needs, you should plan what you want to express ahead of time so you can do it as reasonably and respectfully as possible.

There are a variety of possibilities for how your relationship with your metamour will develop, if at all, beyond the first meeting. You might end up best friends, or maybe just coexist peacefully and separately. The most important part is that everyone involved is communicating openly about their needs and boundaries. There is no one size fits all way to navigate this so if you’re being transparent with one another, you have the tools to tailor the experience to your specific dynamic.