How to Improve Your Body Image at Any Age

Body image is a person’s perception of their own body and appearance. Body image is shaped by a variety of factors including, but not limited to, societal standards, media influence, trauma, and interpersonal relationships. Unfortunately, many people grapple with negative body image which can affect mental health and sexual satisfaction. This article will explore strategies for improving body image and its connection to sex.

What is Body Neutrality? What is Body Positivity?

Body positivity is a well-known movement that encourages people to love how they look. Body neutrality, on the other hand, emphasizes appreciating your body’s abilities over its physical characteristics while accepting your appearance as opposed to loving it. One is not universally better than the other, but appreciating your body’s abilities and accepting your appearance is often more accessible than trying to love your body for people working on their negative body image.

You can combine approaches in working on improving body image. You can redirect your mind when it starts to compare yourself to others and you can curate your social media and media consumption to be more body positive in order to incorporate body positivity. Additionally, try focusing on what your body can do for you like take you on a walk or allow you to cook a meal and exercise for the sake of making yourself feel good emotionally and/or physically, rather than to change your body’s shape in order to incorporate body neutrality.                

Tangible Ways to Improve Your Body Image

Challenge negative thought patterns

Identify and reframe distorted thoughts and beliefs about your body. For example, when you think “I hate my body,” you can reframe it by thinking “My body allows me to [insert activity here] and it deserves compassion.” Over time, awareness and reframing can reshape how you think about yourself.    

Practice mindful self-care

All bodies deserve care regardless of the negative thoughts that may emerge. Moving your body in an enjoyable way, taking a shower or bath, treating yourself to a hand massage, or any other intentional activity that associates your body with positive feelings are great ways to demonstrate love and care.

Seek professional support

Negative body image is a complicated issue and often has deep roots. Sometimes, it is simply too much to wade through alone. This is when seeking professional help is your best option. 

How Does Body Image Impact Sexual Intimacy?

Body image plays a crucial role in sexual intimacy because it influences comfort and overall satisfaction. Research suggests having a negative body image is linked to decreased sexual desire, arousal difficulties, and avoidance of sexual intimacy. Furthermore, body dissatisfaction can contribute to performance anxiety during sex which can be a distraction and inhibit pleasure. Addressing body image concerns is not only good for your well-being, but can also enhance your sex life. 

To combat body insecurity in relation to sex specifically, there are a few things you can try. First, communicate with your partner(s) about how you are feeling. You can brainstorm ways that your partner(s) can provide reassurance, support, and help you feel more at ease. Second, when thoughts about your appearance arise, try to focus on your body and the physical sensations in your body instead. Third, connect with your body through self-pleasuring to help you build comfort with your body and your sexuality.     

Takeaway

Body image is a complex issue that can impact various facets of life including emotional health and sexual satisfaction. Navigating body image concerns requires self-compassion and patience. By educating yourself and utilizing body appreciation, mindfulness, relational communication, and seeking professional support, you can begin your journey to improved body image. Cultivating a more positive body image is an ongoing process that is not always easy, but it is worth it. You deserve to feel comfortable and confident in your skin and know that you have the power to make peace with your body.    

Body Image Resources

• Adipositivity Project - A collection of photos of celebrating the sexuality of fat people

• The Body Is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love - by Sonya Renee Taylor - A book by activist Sonya Renee Taylor about combating shame and practicing radical self-love

• Happy Fat: Taking Up Space in a World That Wants to Shrink You by Sofie Hagen - A book by comedian Sofie Hagen about finding self-acceptance as a fat person

• More Than A Body: Your Body is an Instrument, Not an Ornament by Lindsay Kite PhD and Lexie Kite PhD - A book by doctors Lindsay and Lexie Kite

• How To Love Your Body: 20 Small Ways To Start, Even When It's Hard by Kelly Gonsalves - An article with more tangible suggestions for connecting positively with your body

• Embrace Aging: 10 Strategies to Foster Positive Body Image by Carolyn Karoll - An article about bettering your body image for people 40+   

Nurturing Sexual Intimacy: Rediscovering Connection After Cancer Treatment

Embarking on the journey of a cancer diagnosis and subsequent treatment is undoubtedly a challenging road that can impact intimate relationships. The process of re-establishing sexual intimacy after cancer calls for a thoughtful approach—one grounded in understanding, open communication, and patience. In this article, we'll delve deeper into the potential effects of cancer on sexual health, discuss specific resources available, and provide detailed insights on how to approach the gradual process of rebuilding intimacy when the time feels right.

Understanding the Impact of Cancer on Sexual Functioning

Cancer and its treatment introduce physical changes that can significantly affect sexual functioning. Surgical procedures may alter body structures and tissues, and chemotherapy or radiation therapy can induce fatigue, pain, vaginal dryness and hormonal imbalances. Beyond the physical side effects, the emotional toll of a cancer diagnosis, marked by anxiety, depression, and uncertainty, can cast a shadow on libido and overall sexual well-being. It's important for individuals and their partners to grasp the nature of these changes and engage in open communication with healthcare providers, including oncologists, nurses, and specialists to gain valuable insights into managing these challenges effectively.

How do I support my intimate partner during cancer treatment?

Approaching intimacy after cancer treatment requires support from all individuals in a relationship. Here are considerations for the supportive partner:

Open Communication

Open communication serves as the cornerstone of navigating this sensitive terrain. Creating an environment where both partners can freely express their feelings, concerns, and desires is crucial. Encouraging your partner to share their experiences and being attentive to their emotional needs fosters a deeper understanding and connection.

Self-Educate

Taking the initiative to educate yourself about the potential physical and emotional changes resulting from cancer treatment is a proactive step. This knowledge equips you to provide informed support and navigate the journey together, demonstrating a commitment to shared understanding.

Practice Patience

Recognizing that rebuilding intimacy takes time is essential. Being patient with your partner and acknowledging that the process may involve ups and downs is key to fostering a supportive environment. Understanding that your partner's feelings and needs may evolve allows you to adapt your support accordingly, creating a foundation for resilience and growth.

Find your own support

Participating in counseling sessions or support groups as a couple is a collaborative approach that can strengthen the bond between partners. This shared experience enhances communication and provides practical tools to navigate the unique challenges that may arise in the aftermath of cancer treatment. Encouraging your partner to seek guidance from healthcare professionals, therapists, or sexologists who specialize in post-cancer intimacy is a proactive step toward holistic support. Professional guidance can offer tailored strategies and insights to address specific challenges, empowering both partners on the journey of rediscovering intimacy after cancer.

How do we approach intimacy after cancer?

Rebuilding intimacy necessitates a deliberate and patient approach. Open communication serves as the cornerstone of this process, where partners express their feelings, fears, and desires, fostering mutual understanding and empathy. Taking it slow is crucial. Initiating non-sexual forms of physical connection, such as cuddling or holding hands, can create a foundation for rebuilding intimacy at a pace comfortable for each partner.

Exploring sensate focus, a technique employed by sex therapists involves non-demanding, pleasurable touch without the expectation of sexual activity. This approach encourages partners to reconnect on a physical level, fostering a renewed sense of intimacy without the pressure of immediate sexual expectations.

Lastly, educating oneself about the potential physical and emotional changes resulting from cancer treatment is empowering. Understanding these changes reduces anxiety and contributes to a more supportive and empathetic relationship, with resources such as reputable websites, books, and pamphlets provided by healthcare professionals in the Chicagoland area offering valuable insights.

Resources for Cancer Support in Chicagoland

• American Cancer Society: The American Cancer Society (ACS) is a vital support system for cancer patients, providing easily accessible information on different types of cancer, current treatments, and resources. Through initiatives like Relay For Life and educational programs, ACS promotes cancer awareness and fundraising for research. ACS also offers support services, such as transportation assistance and lodging for patients undergoing treatment. With a focus on community engagement and advocacy, the American Cancer Society plays a crucial role in supporting and empowering individuals affected by cancer.

• Cancer Treatment Centers of America (CTCA) - Chicago: CTCA is dedicated to cancer care and offers a comprehensive approach to address the physical and emotional aspects of cancer treatment. They provide specialized support services and access to healthcare professionals well-versed in managing the unique challenges of post-cancer intimacy.

• Cancer Wellness Center: Through supportive care and education, the Cancer Wellness Center seeks to improve the emotional and physical well-being of people affected by cancer. It is located in Northbrook, IL and all of their virtual and in-person programs are offered free of charge. Programs include support groups, counseling/therapy, educational programs, exercise and physical wellness programs, nutritional counseling, mind-body practices, and a resource center.

• Gilda's Club Chicago: Gilda's Club is a community organization providing support and education to individuals and families impacted by cancer. They offer counseling services, support groups, and educational programs that address the emotional aspects of rebuilding intimacy.

• National Cancer Institute: The National Cancer Institute (NCI) is a crucial resource for cancer patients, offering easy-to-understand information on various cancers and access to the latest treatments through clinical trials. NCI is dedicated to supporting patients by providing educational materials and promoting cancer prevention initiatives. With a focus on collaboration and patient-centered care, NCI plays a vital role in offering valuable support and fostering hope within the cancer community.

• Northwestern Medicine Cancer Center - Chicago: Northwestern Medicine's Cancer Center in Chicago is renowned for its multidisciplinary approach to cancer care. The center provides access to oncologists, psychologists, and counselors who can offer guidance on managing the effects of cancer on sexual health.

• University of Chicago Medicine Comprehensive Cancer Center: This center is a hub for cutting-edge cancer research and treatment. The Comprehensive Cancer Center offers support services and resources to help individuals navigate the challenges of post-cancer intimacy, including counseling and educational programs.

• Wellness House - Hinsdale: Wellness House provides a variety of programs and services to support individuals and families affected by cancer. Their offerings include counseling, support groups, and educational workshops aimed at addressing the emotional and relational aspects of post-cancer life.

TLDR

Re-establishing intimacy after cancer treatment is a personal journey requiring patience and understanding. Partners can play a crucial role by fostering open communication, educating themselves about post-cancer changes, attending support sessions together, being patient, and encouraging professional guidance. Remember, the path to rebuilding intimacy is gradual, and prioritizing emotional connection lays the foundation for a fulfilling post-cancer sexual relationship.

Written by Seth Taylor, ALMFT

Exploring the Power of Emotionally Focused Therapy in Sex Therapy

In the world of psychotherapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) has emerged as a powerful and effective approach, offering transformative results for couples facing various challenges. While it is widely known for its success in improving overall relationship dynamics, EFT has also proven to be valuable in the realm of sex therapy. In this blog post, we will delve into the intricacies of EFT, exploring what to expect, the three stages of treatment, the basics of couples therapy, and the effectiveness of EFT for couples, with a particular emphasis on its application in the context of sex therapy.

What can I expect from EFT?

Emotionally Focused Therapy is a collaborative and structured approach that aims to strengthen emotional bonds between individuals. In the context of couples therapy, EFT creates a safe space for partners to explore and understand their emotions and relational patterns. Expect the therapist to guide you through a process of identifying and transforming negative communication cycles, fostering emotional responsiveness, and ultimately promoting secure attachment.

The 3 Stages of Treatment in EFT

EFT is structured around three distinct stages. In the first stage, couples identify and explore the negative interactional patterns that contribute to distress. The second stage involves restructuring these patterns and building new, healthier ways of relating. The third stage focuses on consolidating the changes made and establishing a more secure and resilient connection. This progression is crucial in creating lasting and positive transformations within the relationship. At its core, EFT couples therapy is rooted in attachment theory, emphasizing the importance of emotional bonds in human relationships. Therapists work to help couples recognize and express their emotions, fostering a deeper understanding of each other's needs and vulnerabilities. By promoting open communication and emotional responsiveness, EFT lays the foundation for a more secure and fulfilling connection between partners.

How Effective Is EFT for Couples?

Research consistently supports the efficacy of EFT for couples, demonstrating significant improvements in relationship satisfaction and overall well-being. Couples who undergo EFT often report better communication, increased intimacy, and a stronger emotional connection. Its success has made EFT a widely recognized and evidence-based approach in the field of couples therapy.

How does EFT help couples in sex therapy?

EFT has demonstrated remarkable efficacy in addressing a spectrum of commonly experienced intimate challenges. One significant area where EFT shines is in resolving communication breakdowns surrounding sexual desires and preferences. By cultivating open dialogue and emotional expression, EFT helps couples articulate their needs, fostering a deeper understanding that extends into sexual intimacy.

Furthermore, EFT has proven invaluable in navigating desire discrepancies, offering couples a framework to explore the emotional dynamics influencing their sexual differences. EFT provides a safe space for couples to process and heal, creating an environment conducive to rebuilding trust and restoring a healthy sexual connection. EFT also excels in challenging negative sexual scripts and supporting partners in overcoming body image insecurities, promoting a positive and affirming atmosphere for shared vulnerability.

EFT explores the complexities of postpartum challenges, acknowledging the emotional and physical transformations that accompany the transition to parenthood. EFT assists couples in adapting to these changes and maintaining intimacy. When faced with the aftermath of infidelity and trust issues, EFT guides couples through the process of rebuilding trust, exploring the emotional roots of betrayal, and establishing a foundation for renewed emotional and sexual intimacy.

TLDR

EFT's holistic approach to couples therapy seamlessly extends into sex therapy, offering couples a comprehensive toolkit to navigate a myriad of challenges. Its emphasis on emotional connection, communication, and trust-building positions EFT as a powerful ally for couples seeking not only to enhance their relational dynamics but also to foster a deeply satisfying and resilient sexual connection.Emotionally Focused Therapy offers a holistic approach to couples therapy, encompassing emotional, relational, and, by extension, sexual well-being. By addressing the core emotional dynamics within a relationship, EFT paves the way for transformative change, making it a valuable tool in the toolkit of sex therapists seeking to enhance the intimate connection between partners.

Written by Seth Taylor, ALMFT