4 Ways to Cultivate Creativity in Relationships

Creativity is a fundamental way of facilitating interpersonal connection. Intentionally incorporating creativity can help you learn about yourself and your partner(s) and can help deepen your bond. The great news is that there are really no rules when it comes to creativity which is exciting and a little intimidating! These tips can help get you started.

1. Discuss new sexual interests

Once we find sexual activities we enjoy, it is easy to repeat them until they start to feel boring. This is especially true in longer term relationships. One way to break out of that cycle is to bring up new sexual interests. These could be activities you’ve enjoyed in the past, activities that you’ve heard of and find appealing, or activities you’ve fantasized about. Be open with your partner about what turns you on outside of your usual repertoire. You might be surprised by how much your interests overlap!

2. Explore erotica together

What if you aren’t sure about new things that turn you on? Erotica or porn can provide inspiration. You could read or watch alone and share what you’d like to try after, or watch together if that feels more comfortable. There are plenty of erotica and porn websites available, but these are some recommendations from us at ESW.

3. Practice Playful flirting

Flirting is fun way to communicate desires to a partner. You can tell a partner things about them that turn you on or things you’d like to do with them. You can even turn your flirting into a role play. The best part is that, nowadays, you don’t even need to flirt in person. Sexting via text or video/audio messages can take off some of the pressure that can come from in person flirting.

4. Plan novel dates

Think past dinner and a movie. There are so many other fun date plans to choose from, and the novelty of trying something different can feel really exciting. Consider activities you’ve wanted to try but haven’t yet. Some ideas include:

• Taking a cooking class together

• Going to a paint and sip event

• Going to a new museum or art exhibit

• Walking around a part of your city you haven’t been to yet

• Hiking around a new area

Remember, these ideas are just a starting point. Once you’ve tried some of these options, consider going further and exploring new ways to keep the creativity alive in your relationship!

5 Tips for Effective Communication in Marriage

Marriage takes work. There’s always room for improvement and that starts with clear, honest communication. Strong communication is one of the tenets of any healthy relationship. Like most things worth doing though, it can be challenging. Here are five tips for effective communication in a marriage. 

1. Be proactive in getting your needs met. Your partner isn’t a mind reader, and in order to have a healthy, mutually fulfilling relationship, you must consistently check in to make sure that needs are being met. The longer it’s drawn out or avoided, all the more likely that resentment will grow and the topic at hand becomes that much more difficult to address.

2. Speak from the “I” perspective. You can only speak from your own experience. Using the “I” perspective helps avoid coming across as attacking someone and they may get defensive.  

3. Avoid making assumptions. It can be easy to get caught up in our own feelings, especially when they’re intense, and sometimes that leads to making unfair assumptions about someone’s intentions or behaviors. Assumptions present an additional obstacle to productive communication because before the to

4. Make yourself a safe person to criticize or say no to. If your partner(s) fear retribution or a negative reaction from you as a result of receiving constructive feedback or being told no, they may be disincentivized to consistently communicate. It’s okay to be upset or have negative feelings, but it’s not okay to take it out on your partner.

5. Seek couples therapy if you feel stuck. If you struggle to figure out how to communicate effectively, or if you end up in a stalemate despite your best efforts, therapists like those at Embrace Sexual Wellness can be great facilitators for improved communication.

Communication is hard so try not to get discouraged if you’re struggling with it. Give yourself and your partner(s) the grace to make mistakes and to not get it right on the first try every time. For previous Embrace Sexual Wellness articles on communication, you can check here and here. 

Additional resources 

• Top 5 Communication Exercises for Couples to Grow Closer

• Communication in marriage is a skill you can learn

• Communication Exercises to Improve Your Relationship