December 1st 1988 was the first ever World AIDS Day. Today marks the 33 year anniversary of this observance, and yet the stigma surrounding HIV/AIDS remains present as ever. This stigma fuels a shame-based culture in which it becomes difficult for people with HIV/AIDS to disclose their status without fear of retribution. That being said, it is ethically important to inform sexual and/or romantic partners of pertinent medical information that has the potential to affect them. This applies to HIV/AIDS among other sexually transmitted infections and any contagious conditions. Without everyone being on the same page about everyone’s health status, it’s difficult to ensure proper safety precautions are being taken and that everyone’s boundaries are being respected. In addition to moral implications of disclosure, 35 states have laws that criminalize neglecting to disclose HIV/AIDS status with sexual partners and/or anyone sharing needles. It is undoubtedly important to disclose, but the prospect of doing so can be intimidating for fear of rejection, violence, and judgment from the listening party. Here are some ways to make that conversation as easy as possible when disclosing your status to your partner(s).
Source: https://news.delaware.gov/2018/11/30/delaware-events-mark-world-aids-day-dec-1-2018/
1. Be specific and straightforward
Make sure to disclose the status of the infection including what it is, the definition of the condition, and what, if anything, you need from the other person in terms of support
If it would be helpful, you can disclose with the help of your doctor or therapist
2. Plan ahead for all possible reactions
Make sure you have support systems and coping mechanisms in place to navigate the possibility of an adverse reaction
Speak to a therapist and/or have the disclosure discussion with a counselor or therapist
Respect the needs of the recipient for their processing of the news
While you should respect the needs of the other person, make sure you know what you need in terms of emotional regulation and allow yourself the grace to feel negative emotions if they come up
3. Come prepared with educational and safety resources about the relevant health status
When discussing a condition with a risk of transmission, one of the first concerns that comes to mind is the health and safety of everyone involved. A good way to navigate the fear is to make sure everyone involved in the conversation has the resources and support they need.
Resources for someone living with HIV/AIDS
“The Ryan White HIV/AIDS Program works with cities, states, and local community-based organizations. The Program provides primary medical care and essential support services to more than half a million people each year. Through the Program, people living with HIV who have no insurance or are underinsured can get the HIV medical care and other support services they need.”
Send an anonymous STD test notification to sexual partners
This is a good option to inform casual or past partners, but in a serious relationship, it’s probably better to discuss it in person to navigate the implications for the relationship
Resources for someone who has a loved one living with HIV/AIDS
Living with any chronic illness like HIV/AIDS is difficult in many ways, disclosure being just one of them. Hopefully these resources prove helpful in easing the process. Regarding HIV/AIDS specifically, though there’s no cure, a diagnosis is not the end of the world. It can be managed with medication such as antiretroviral therapies and safer sex practices. Disclosing your status to the people in your life not only keeps them informed of any potential implications for their health, but they can also be a shoulder to lean on.
