Happy 2022! After the trials and tribulations of the last few years, it’s more important than ever to intentionally focus on one’s wellness to avoid burnout. Around the new year, there are frequent conversations about transformation and resolution setting. Before diving into how to set sexual wellness intentions for the new year, it’s important to preface that if resolution-setting doesn’t help you, there is nothing wrong with not doing so. Just staying afloat in chronically stressful societal conditions is a feat in and of itself so if that’s all you have the capacity for, that is more than enough. For those who are yes to sexual wellness goals for the new year, here are 3 steps that can help guide your intention setting.
1. Understand what sexual wellness is and what it looks like for you
Before jumping in, it is important to understand what sexual wellness is.
What is sexual wellness?
Sexual wellness is emotional and physical satisfaction with regard to one’s sexuality and sexual life. Goals around sexual wellness can be oriented toward one’s sexual relationship with themselves, or with others. Intentionality is an important part of cultivating sexual wellness and forces perpetual self-reevaluation of boundaries and desires. This knowledge is key to reaching sexual wellness goals.
2. Reflect on your current sexual wellness; what is working and what could be improved
Before setting your intentions, it is a good idea to gauge the current status of your sexual wellness and identify areas where you are already satisfied and areas where you’d like to improve. Use these questions to guide your self-reflection:
Questions for reflecting on your sexual wellness
Are you generally satisfied with your current sex life? What do you enjoy about it? What, if anything, do you dislike about it or wish was different?
Do you have shame around sex and/or your appearance? Where does it come from? How does it affect your sex life, if at all?
Are you affected by any sexual trauma? Is there any part of that trauma that you’d like to process with a therapist before working on sexual wellness intentions? (Note: focusing on addressing trauma can be a sexual wellness intention, too!)
What sexual activities or relationship dynamics do you want to try out that you haven’t yet? What have you already tried, and what did you learn about yourself from those experiences?
If you have sex involving other people, do you trust and like those people? Do they meet your sexual needs? How is your communication about and during sex?
Do you already dedicate attention to your own pleasure?
3. Choose your intentions and plan how you’ll achieve them
Once you have a good idea of your sexual needs, boundaries, and desires, use that information to decide what you want your intentions to be. Below is a non-exclusive list of intentions and specific actions you can take to work toward them.
Intention ideas
-To focus on the journey, not the destination
Be more present in your body and with your partner
Make the goal of sex be pleasure and connection rather than orgasm
Experiment and try out things you’re curious about
-To be honor your needs and your pleasure
Don’t lie about having an orgasm if you didn’t
Ask for what you want and need from your partner in sexual encounters
Don’t leave it to chance; schedule sex and/or masturbation sessions
-To try new things
This is all a starting point to inspire your intention-setting but everyone’s sexual wellness looks different and will need different types of nurturing. Regardless of whether or not you choose to set intentions for the new year, be sure to take care of your overall wellness, including sexual wellness, regardless. Setting sexual wellness intentions can be done on your own or with a partner. You may also want to consider speaking with a sex therapist if you need help with any of the steps above. If you live in Illinois, Embrace Sexual Wellness can help. Contact us HERE.
