Therapy

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Sexuality Professionals Series: An Interview with Casey Tanner

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Embrace Sexual Wellness is conducting a multipart spotlight series of interviews with sexuality professionals. If you missed the previous ones, check them out on our blog. For the third installment in our interviews, we spoke with Casey Tanner (she/they), owner of The Expansive Group.

Casey Tanner is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist who combines evidence-based research, queer affirming care, and pleasure activism to cultivate powerful relationships. Specializing in gender and sexual diversity, she partners with individuals, relationships, and institutions to expand limited mindsets, foster courageous behavior, and empower meaningful change around gender and sexuality.  After several individuals, couples and businesses sought out Casey’s guidance in making cultural shifts around gender and sexuality, they started The Expansive Group to better meet the growing demand.

Sex therapy is a type of psychotherapy focused specifically on sexual health, function, intimacy issues, and feelings, among other topics. While all sex therapists are formally trained, many but not all are officially AASECT-certified professionals. Typically, though not always, sex therapy is temporary, to address certain issues. Through sex therapy, you can learn to express your concerns clearly, better understand your own sexual needs and better understand your partner's sexual needs.

What inspired you to pursue your career path? 
The life-changing experience of talking about sex and queerness with my own therapist.  This space wasn't available to me until my early 20s and, for so many, is never available.  I wanted to become the space that I needed growing up - everything I do is, in some ways, a love letter to my younger queer self.

How does your field differ from that of other sexuality professionals?
My field (the intersection of therapist, educator, influencer, and consultant) is brand new!  While it's based on best-practices and evidence-based research from each of those individual fields, the combination feels like a new story that I'm writing every day.  There's no (updated) guidebook on how to balance the confidentiality ethics of being a therapist with the nuance of being an educator/influencer.  One of the more unique parts of my job is working with companies who want to do a better job around gender neutral language - I think of it as a sort of large-scale therapy for businesses!

What is the most rewarding part of your career?
Receiving feedback from my audience, students, or team that the space I'm creating means something to them. I get a lot of feedback that folks haven't seen anything like this before, and that really validates the "why" behind the work.

What's the most misunderstood thing about what you do?
That being a gender/sexuality professional means I have my own relationships and identity figured out. Surprise - I don't!

What's the most common question you receive from others about your career?
People often ask me what "queer sex" is. I usually respond with, "queer sex is intimacy that expands beyond the binary - it challenges our ideas on what is or isn't sex, what is or isn't normal, what is or isn't allowed."

What advice would you want to share with aspiring sexuality professionals?
To the extent possible, choose supervisors with a sexuality/queer background. I think direct supervisors are more important than the workplace itself, so don't silo yourself into only working in sexuality-focused practices. If you're able, do an administrative internship with a therapist or educator before graduate school so that you have a great letter of recommendation when it comes time for practicum applications.

If you had to describe your work in one sentence, what would you say?
I expand folks' ideas of what healthy sexuality looks like to include more diversity and more pleasure.

Thank you to Casey for taking the time to share their perspective. We encourage you to find Casey on social media and her websites, linked below.

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Mental Health Round-Up: Resources for Healing

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Though May is coming to a close, that doesn’t mean nurturing your mental health stops there! We have compiled a resource round-up for ongoing mental health care. This is just a sampling of the vast array of resources available but we hope it serves as a useful starting point!

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General

Crisis Hotlines 


Apps & Websites for Wellness

  • Insight Timer

    • Free website and app offering guided meditations, meditative music, mental health related talks, and more mental wellness resources. 

  • Headspace

    • Subscription-based website and app (with free trial option) to learn meditation from the basics and up. Meditation categories include sleep, stress, and mindfulness.

  • Calm

    • Subscription-based app (with free trial option) primarily focused on sleep and relaxation meditations. However, it includes video lessons for movement, nature scenes and sounds, guided meditation, sleep meditation, and more. 

  • 10% Happier: Meditation

    • Subscription-based app (with free trial option) offering guided meditations. They have an affiliated book, podcast, and newsletter. 

  • Happify

    • Website and app focused on improving your “happiness score” which is based on a survey users take when starting out. Its activities and games work to change your perspective through “happiness science” to improve your outlook.

  • MoodMission

    • An app “for dealing with stress, low moods, and anxiety.” It is catered to remedying feelings of depression and anxiety through developing healthier coping mechanisms. 

  • Woebot

    • Built around the idea of “radical accessibility” which they define as “accessible in every sense of the word. It means being able to access support no matter the house, and whether you have a diagnosis, or a prescription, or not.” Woebot uses scientifically based therapeutic research to code an AI capable of providing therapeutic support. 

  • Sanvello

    • App and website offering self-care, peer support, coaching, and therapy resources. It is based around principles of cognitive behavioral therapy to effectively address mental health concerns. It is a pay-based service but it is covered under many insurance plans, according to their website.

Books | Synopses excerpted from GoodReads

  • My Therapist Told Me To Journal by Holly Chisholm 

    • “Keep anxiety and depression in check with tons of totally doable mental health tips and techniques included here. You'll find some silly things, some serious things, some resources and exercises—oh, and a whole page of STICKERS to use throughout your journal.” 

  • You Will Get Through This Night by Daniel Howell

    • “Written by Daniel Howell, in conjunction with a qualified psychologist, in an entertaining and personal way from the perspective of someone who has been through it all—this no-nonsense book gives you the tools to understand your mind so you can be in control and really live. Split into three chapters for each stage of the journey: This Night - how to get through your toughest moments and be prepared to face anything. / Tomorrow - small steps to change your thoughts and actions with a big impact on your life. / The Days After - help to look after yourself in the long term and not just survive, but thrive.”

  • Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies: And Other Rituals to Fix Your Life, from Someone Who’s Been There by Tara Schuster

    • “This is the book Tara wished someone had given her and it is the book many of us desperately need: a candid, hysterical, addictively readable, practical guide to growing up (no matter where you are in life) and learning to love yourself in a non-throw-up-in-your-mouth-it’s-so-cheesy way.”

  • The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

    • “Renowned trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk has spent over three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he transforms our understanding of traumatic stress, revealing how it literally rearranges the brain’s wiring—specifically areas dedicated to pleasure, engagement, control, and trust. He shows how these areas can be reactivated through innovative treatments including neurofeedback, mindfulness techniques, play, yoga, and other therapies.”

  • The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown

    • “In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown, PhD, a leading expert on shame, authenticity and belonging, shares what she's learned from a decade of research on the power of Wholehearted Living--a way of engaging with the world from a place of worthiness.In her ten guideposts, Brown engages our minds, hearts, and spirits as she explores how we can cultivate the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough, and to go to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am sometimes afraid, but I am also brave. And, yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable, but that doesn't change the truth that I am worthy of love and belonging.”

  • The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor

    • “The Body Is Not an Apology offers radical self-love as the balm to heal the wounds inflicted by these violent systems. World-renowned activist and poet Sonya Renee Taylor invites us to reconnect with the radical origins of our minds and bodies and celebrate our collective, enduring strength. As we awaken to our own indoctrinated body shame, we feel inspired to awaken others and to interrupt the systems that perpetuate body shame and oppression against all bodies. When we act from this truth on a global scale, we usher in the transformative opportunity of radical self-love, which is the opportunity for a more just, equitable, and compassionate world--for us all.”

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Directories to Find a Therapist

  • Find Inclusive Therapists, Counselors, Mental Health Care Near You

    • Inclusive Therapists is a therapist directory that focuses on centering the needs of Black, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPOC) and the LGBTQIA2S+ community. They advocate for equality and accessibility. 

  • Therapy For Black Girls

    • Keeping the societal stigma around mental illness that many Black women face in mind, Therapy for Black Girls caters to the needs and concerns that are specific to Black women.

  • Open Path Collective: Affordable Counseling | Affordable Therapy 

    • Open Path Psychotherapy Collective is a non-profit nationwide network of mental health professionals dedicated to providing in-office and online mental health care—at a steeply reduced rate—to individuals, couples, children, and families in need.

Everyone needs different care for various needs and luckily, there is no shortage of options out there. All of the resources listed here are trusted, scientifically-based options that value privacy and effective care. Though not all of them will work for every individual, many offer trial options if applicable so you can figure out what works best for you. Remember to take care of yourself this month and every month! 

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What You Need to Know Before Your First Telehealth Therapy Appointment

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Many people around the world have become social-distancing pros in the past few months, working remotely and interacting with loved ones digitally. The practice of individual and relationship psychotherapy has followed suit, as many providers have transitioned to offering sessions via Telehealth. But, what if you’ve never been to a tele-therapy appointment before? Don’t fret, we’re here to help with some tips for beginning tele-therapy during the pandemic.

Clear Your Schedule

Pretend like you are in a therapist's office for the entire hour. Tell your coworkers, roommates, neighbors you are unavailable or block your calendar for that hour. You’ll want to dedicate the entire time toward focusing on the session. Put your phone on “Do Not Disturb” or turn it off completely. If you live with someone else and your walls are thin, ask them to wear headphones during that session, so you can speak freely without feeling like your privacy is being compromised. Imagine you are in the therapist’s office and direct your entire focus to the therapy appointment (we realize for some, this is easier said than done).

Set Up Your Virtual Therapy Office

If you’re going to be talking a lot, you’ll probably want a glass of water on hand. Emotions tend to arise during therapy, so make sure tissues are available and a trash can to dispose of them. Keep a notepad to take notes, if that’s your thing. You’re going to be occupied for an hour, so it’s best to use the toilet before your session to avoid interruptions. If you feel more focused when wearing trousers instead of sweats, plan accordingly before your session. The more present you are, the more you’ll likely get out of your session!

Ease Into It

Give yourself five minutes before to settle in and really think about what you want to accomplish during this session. Prioritize which topics are most important and what you have been working on. It can be helpful to make a written or mental itinerary for how you want to organize the session. When finished, give yourself another 5 minutes to process before you transition to what you have going on during the remainder of your day.

Limit Distractions

We know it’s hard, but try to avoid inviting your pets to therapy, especially if you’ll be tempted not to keep your eyes off of them. While they may provide emotional support, you’ll want to stay focused on what is happening in your session. Take the same approach with children, if possible. Ask a co-parent or caregiver to watch your children during your session to help you stay focused. Refrain from eating or consuming alcohol during your session. A good rule of thumb to follow: If you would not do it in a therapist's office, do not do it during your teletherapy appointment.

Teletherapy has never been more accessible than it is now, during the Covid-19 pandemic. Take advantage of these new opportunities and make an appointment today with us (hello Illinois residents) or some of the other qualified clinicians in your area!  





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