5 Ways to Spice Up Your Halloween During a Pandemic

Halloween is going to look different this year… and it is extremely important for us to keep each other safe. 

Consider These Lower Risk Activities to Keep Your Holiday Fun and Safe:

1 . Carve or decorate pumpkins (and turn it into a contest!).

Get together safely with your quarantine crew to carve and decorate pumpkins. 

2. Decorate your living space to get into the Halloween spirit.

If you don’t feel safe meeting up with friends or neighbors, that is totally valid! Whether you are immunocompromised or just don’t want to leave your house this is a lower-risk activity. Find some fun decorations and just go with your own creative vision. You can even decorate while listening to some fun Halloween themed music!

3. Have a virtual Halloween costume contest over your favorite video platform.
Get together with your friends over Zoom, Google Meet, or whatever platform you enjoy most and have a virtual costume contest. Not only will this give you an opportunity to get dressed up, but you will be able to connect with your friends, wherever they may be. 

4. Watch a Halloween themed movie with your household or with friends over Zoom or Netflix Party. 
Watching a movie can be a wonderful activity to do safely. Pick a movie and take it from there! If you are living alone or would rather watch with others you can screen share over Zoom or if you have Netflix, download the Google Chrome extension “Netflix Party” which allows you to watch movies with your friends. 

5. Decorate cloth masks. 

Buy some cloth face masks and paint them! You can choose to decorate them to go with your costume or just decorate them for the winter.

To find more information about staying safe this Halloween, go to the CDC’s Website. 

The Importance of Consent During A Pandemic

Consent has always been an important topic. However, during the time of coronavirus, practicing consent is more pressing than ever before. We are not only thinking of consent in terms of sexual interactions, but we are also now thinking of consent in terms of touching, hugging, distancing, etc. During this pandemic, we have recognized a greater need to respect others’ boundaries. Now we have to decide if we are okay meeting a friend outdoors for a social distance hangout, giving someone a hug, giving someone an elbow bump, etc. 

What Is Consent?

In its most basic definition, consent means to give one’s approval. More broadly, it means to set boundaries of what you are okay with. When giving consent you are agreeing to an activity or letting another person know you are okay with something happening. If you do not wish to engage in an activity, you are saying no, which is revoking your consent. It’s important to know your boundaries when entering into social interactions so you know what activities you are comfortable consenting to. 

Here are some questions to allow you to understand your boundaries better: 

• Will you hug your friend, when you meet for coffee?

• Are you okay if a friend gives you a high five?

• How about an elbow bump?

These are some examples of consent in a non-sexual context. Many look at consent in a largely sexual context, but the concept of consent applies to all aspects of life. Consent is typically taught through the acronym FRIES, meaning that consent is Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific. This acronym clearly breaks down what consent is and gives a framework for conversations surrounding consent. 

Let’s break down the meaning behind the FRIES acronym. Freely given means consenting is a choice you make without pressure, manipulation, or the influence of drugs and alcohol. Reversible means when you consent to something you are not consenting forever. Anyone can change their mind about what they are comfortable doing at any time. Informed means consent includes details. For example if you say ‘yes’ to having sex while using a condom, you are not consenting to having sex without a condom. Enthusiastic means that it is said enthusiastically and there is no doubt that you want or do not want to engage in an activity. Specific means saying yes to one thing, does not mean you are saying yes to another thing. For example, if you say yes to making out, that does not mean you are saying yes to having oral sex. While for some, it may seem like the natural progression of sexual relations, but that does not mean that everyone feels this way. Even if you think that someone agrees to being sexual with you, asking for consent is still necessary.

Why Is Consent Important During Covid?

Since the beginning of the pandemic  boundaries have likely changed. We are facing new challenges relating to interactions with others and even ourselves. Respecting personal boundaries is always important, but now it is critical. Mutual respect is arguably more important than ever. And productive communication is necessary. 

Some of these boundaries may include not taking off masks in social interactions, not eating at a restaurant, not going inside of a store, etc. Practicing consent means respecting these boundaries and not making someone do something that makes them feel unsafe. Consent is critical to protect you, your friends and family, and your relationships with others.  

Be Honest and Have Open Conversations

Always let those around you know when you are doing something that increases the risk of Covid. For example, if you are out with friends, instead of taking off your mask right away, ask if they are comfortable with you doing so. Ask if your friends are comfortable doing specific activities such as eating at a restaurant or having a picnic in the park, if they aren't, don't do it. It’s that simple. It all comes down to respect.

Don’t just ask if people are comfortable with what you are doing. Be open to input! In these unprecedented times, we are all learning with and from each other. Don’t just agree with your friends, but ask them why they are choosing not to do something.

When you make a commitment to respect those around you you should also assure them that you will only do things that make them feel safe without any judgment or cold feelings. 

Make Sure Boundaries are Clear

Make sure that there is no pressure when asking someone if they are comfortable doing something. Peer pressure has been shown to be highly influential in changing individuals’ attitudes. When a person feels pressured by peers, they may make decisions because they feel they have to rather than because they want to. One way to reduce pressure is to let others know that any choice that they make is valid and you will respect that choice.   

Important Questions to Ask

Your friends are not mind readers and neither are you. That is why it is important to have constructive conversations in order to help your friends understand you better and vice versa. As you ask questions about the other’s boundaries, think about how you would answer them yourself in order to think critically about your own boundaries. 

Here are some questions to consider asking your friends:

• Are you comfortable with hugs right now?

• How would you feel if I took off my mask while we walk?

• Do you feel safe doing _______ (insert activity here)?

• Which activities are you comfortable with right now? 

• Which activities are you uncomfortable with right now?

Remember that everyone has different boundaries and that all boundaries are valid. It is important to have these conversations to make sure that everyone is on the same page. Make sure that whoever you are with consents to any activity that you do. Consent is key in any relationship. 

Dating in the Time of Quarantine: 5 Social Distancing-Approved Date Ideas

It’s been almost 2 months since the state of Illinois went into stay at home order in an attempt to limit the spread of COVID-19 in our community. It has meant no Cubs or White Sox baseball, no street festivals and concerts and, of course, no dine-in restaurants. While we must recognize the financial hardships facing those who work in those industries, it is also okay to ask oneself the question “how am I supposed to continue dating?” 

For years, dates have revolved around going out for dinner, grabbing drinks, going to a game or taking a walk in the park. Should dating be completely put on pause until the shelter-in-place order is over? We don’t think so. Here are a few ways to keep on dating through the quarantine.

Virtual Dinner Date

Grocery stores are still open, so put together some recipes! Decide amongst yourselves which cuisine to prepare and do your best to dazzle your date with your culinary prowess. Having Italian? Make your Zoom virtual background the gondolas in Venice or the Roman Coliseum. Get creative, show off your fun side and make the best of it all while eating some yummy, homemade food. Don’t want to leave the house to go grocery shop? Support a local small business for delivery and do the same date.

Netflix Party

Can’t Netflix and Chill? Try Netflix and Chat. One of our favorite new Google Chrome extensions, TeleParty, allows you to sync up your Netflix with your friends and watch the same movie or show in real time. Use the chat room feature to discuss the show or anything you want. If you want a more personal touch, FaceTime on the side so it feels like you’re together. Just don’t forget the snacks!

Erotic Fiction Story Time

Ready to turn up the heat a little bit in the relationship? Find some erotic fiction and read it together over Zoom by sharing your screen. Take turns reading aloud the dialogue and let the subject matter get you feeling some type of way. We recommend Lit Erotica for all your online erotica needs.

Surprise Window Visit

As long as you are wearing a face mask and keeping a 6 foot social distance from others, taking a walk on a nice day is allowed and often encouraged. To surprise the person you are dating, find time to drop by their home and let them know you’re outside. For partners desperately looking to see each other in person, a simple window-to-sidewalk conversation can be a nice moment while also keeping proper social distance.

Online Concert

Concert dates are one of our go-to’s and we couldn’t imagine being in the dating stage and not having live music to experience together. Find a concert online or check out one of the many artists streaming concerts during this time to watch together. No matter where you are physically, being together in an experience is the most important part of establishing a connection with someone new.

These are just a few of our favorite activities for those newly dating during the time of social distancing. Do you have any favorite virtual date ideas? Follow us on instagram and let us know!