What Conversations Should You Have With Your Partner, Even If Communication Isn’t Your Strong Suit?

In healthy, fulfilling relationships, communication is key. The ability to openly discuss thoughts, fears, desires, and needs with your partner can be the difference between mere attraction and deep, lasting intimacy. But let’s be honest—communication isn’t everyone’s strong suit. So, what can you do if talking about feelings doesn’t come naturally to you? Here are four essential “check-in” conversations you can have with your partner to strengthen your connection, even if communication isn’t your thing.

Essential Conversations to Strengthen Your Relationship

1. "I have been working on ________ lately, how has that been going?"

We all have personal or professional goals we strive to achieve, and relationship goals are no different. Whether you’ve been trying to be more patient, prioritize quality time, or improve your listening skills, it’s important to check in with your partner about your progress. Ask them if they’ve noticed any changes and whether those efforts are contributing to your relationship goals. This conversation not only shows your commitment to growth but also opens the door for valuable feedback.

2. "What do you need from me?"

It’s a simple question, but it’s often one of the hardest to ask. It can also be challenging for your partner to articulate their needs, so creating a safe space for this conversation is crucial. By asking this question, you’re inviting your partner to express what they need from you—something you might not have considered. If you want to be a better partner, this is the question to ask.

3. "I really feel most connected to you when __________."

Is there an activity or moment that makes you feel particularly close to your partner? Whether it’s cooking together, taking walks, or simply having a deep conversation, let them know. Remember, no one is a mind reader. By clearly communicating what makes you feel connected, you’re giving your partner a roadmap to fostering that closeness, which can deepen your bond.

4. "I really need space when __________."

While togetherness is important, so is having space. We all need alone time now and then, and it’s crucial to communicate this to your partner. Letting your partner know when you need space helps set clear boundaries and reduces the chances of misunderstandings. By being open about your need for alone time, you create a healthier, more balanced relationship.

Why Are These Conversations Important for Your Relationship?

These four conversations may seem simple, but they are powerful tools for improving communication and building a stronger connection with your partner. By regularly checking in with each other on these topics, you create an environment of openness and mutual respect. So, even if communication isn’t your strong suit, these questions can help you and your partner navigate your relationship more effectively.

These are just a few of our favorite questions and topics to discuss with your partner in order to strengthen communication. Comment below and let us know which are your favorite conversations and check out our instagram for more information about relationship and sexual wellness!

Is Love Really Blind? Exploring the Reality Behind the Show

Is love truly blind? That’s the question the creators of a new reality dating show set out to explore. Warning: Spoilers ahead.

In the Netflix show Love is Blind, contestants are separated by gender and attend “dates” in separate rooms, where they can hear each other but never see each other. The premise is simple: can individuals fall in love without ever laying eyes on each other, and can that love endure once the visual element is introduced? With curiosity and a bit of skepticism, I watched the show, open to whatever insights it might reveal. The result? Six engaged couples emerged from the experience, surprising even the show’s creators. After becoming engaged, the contestants spent 30 days in Mexico before attempting to get married. While I won’t spoil the ending, here are my key takeaways from the show:

What Does Love is Blind Teach Us About Relationships?

1. The Concept is Fascinating

The idea behind Love is Blind is intriguing—it’s like The Voice, but for dating. By removing the element of physical beauty from the equation, the show challenges us to consider how important physical attraction really is in romantic relationships. After all, physical beauty, shaped by cultural standards, evolves and fades over time. Moreover, someone who might be deemed physically attractive can seem less appealing if their personality is selfish or mean-spirited. Conversely, a person might become more attractive when their personality shines through.

2. The Participants Were Universally Attractive

One notable aspect of the show is that all the participants were, by conventional standards, quite attractive. While beauty is subjective, these individuals were generally above average in terms of societal beauty norms. This raises the question: what would have happened if the show had included participants with a wider range of physical appearances, both within the U.S. and across different cultures?

3. Extraordinary Circumstances Aren’t Reality

It’s easy to fall in love when you’re isolated in a luxurious setting, free from the usual stressors of daily life. The show’s contestants lived in a sort of bubble, shielded from the realities of work, bills, family obligations, and other daily pressures. While the show did introduce the stressor of planning a wedding, the couples still existed in an environment far removed from everyday life. This setting makes it difficult to gauge how these relationships would fare in the real world, where stress and routine can heavily influence romantic dynamics.

4. The Absence of External Influences

In the show, there are no external factors demanding the couples’ attention. In reality, relationships are influenced by friends, family, work, and other responsibilities that can create complex dynamics. Without these external components, the couples on Love is Blind may have experienced a false sense of intimacy. Once these real-world factors are reintroduced, maintaining the same level of closeness and intensity in a relationship can be challenging.

Should We Take Lessons from Reality TV Love Stories?

While shows like Love is Blind are entertaining and offer interesting perspectives on relationships, it’s important to remember that they don’t represent the typical dating experience. These are everyday people “falling in love” under highly extraordinary circumstances.

So, what do you think? Is love really blind, or is physical attraction an unavoidable factor in romantic relationships? If you watched the show, we’d love to hear your thoughts. Comment below and join the conversation!

How Long Should I Wait Before Having Sex With My bumble Date?

The decisions you make about your body are entirely yours. Sex included. Often after going out with a new special someone, we chat with our friends, coworkers or family about the experience. Then what happens? Opinions. Lots of them. These people who are close to us impart their ideas about the date (or series of dates), "He took you where?" or "She said what?" and then we download a new perspective entirely. See how easy it is for our inner circle to influence our decisions...

Let's make this decision YOURS.

Sex brings up a lot for people whether it be intense emotions, past experiences, ideas about commitment, concerns about STIs/unplanned pregnancy, body image, cultural understandings and religious beliefs, etc. If you consult every person from your inner circle, they may each give you different answers based on their own beliefs.. making it more complicated than calculated. What matters most is what you believe and whether you feel prepared to engage sexually with this other person.

The right time to have sex for one person is unlikely to be the same for another, so there's no quantitative one-size-fits-all answer.  However, here are a few of my favorite questions to consider when making your decision:

Can you talk about being intimate while you're not in the heat of the moment?

Discussing what you desire in an intimate relationship with your date, while you are fully clothed and sipping coffee, can be just as sexy as that steamy kiss you shared last Friday night. Think of this as foreplay for your brain. It also helps clear up any expectations you each may have.

If you were sexually intimate right now, what do you imagine that would be like for you?

Sometimes new (sexual) experiences are exciting and other times they feel scary. If you notice that you feel uneasy about having sex right now, I'd encourage you to embrace that and not make any decision that doesn't feel right to YOU. Identifying the source of the discomfort can be helpful to determine: What might help you feel more comfortable? Many people feel anxious about having sex because they worry about unplanned pregnancy or contracting an STI. One strategy to yield the nerves would be to talk with your partner about your beliefs about contraception and plans for safer sex. Pro tip: Make your next date a trip to the local clinic to get tested together for STIs.

What are 5 things you like about this person that are not visible to the naked eye? 

This one may sound silly, yet it is important to like our partners if we are taking stock in exploring their bodies sexually. Now, maybe you don't feel that being "in love" is a prerequisite for sex, totally fair.  However, if you are going to be trusting your body with someone (and during sex, trust is involved), finding 5 things you can appreciate about him or her should be easy to do. Think about it this way: if you knew your date didn't like you as a person, would you still want to be with them sexually?

What are the tradeoffs of waiting to be sexual?

If sex were a car and desire were gasoline, then distance is desire's gasoline. That first moment when you greet your date after nearly a week and you've been thinking about one another frequently, KABOOM! Those few days apart (that distance) is what makes your first interaction feel so powerful and exciting.

So maybe you both have been kissing a lot and that feels good right now and you are considering taking things to the next level sexually, awesome. Here's a question: if you waited a little while longer (maybe a day or a few more weeks), what would you gain instead? Often when I ask this question, people seem confused but their answers usually reside with closeness, greater confidence, a deepened sense of trust, more developed commitment, increased awareness & Desire, Desire, Desire. Taking the time to really understand the person you swiped right will likely enhance your sexual experience in the long run, keeping the anticipation flowing until you are both ready to embark on this sexual expedition.