Navigating Open Relationships: Real Talk on Jealousy, Boundaries & the Role of Sex Therapy
For some couples, opening a relationship can feel exciting—a chance to explore, connect, and grow. For others, it’s terrifying, confusing, or full of unexpected emotional landmines. And for many, it’s both.
If you’re considering—or already navigating—non-monogamy, know this: it’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed. There’s no one-size-fits-all rulebook for open relationships. But with the right support, tools, and intentional communication, it can work—beautifully.
At Embrace Sexual Wellness, we work with people across the spectrum of relationship structures. Whether you're just starting to talk about polyamory, or you're in a multi-partner dynamic trying to make sense of your emotions, we’re here to help.
“Why am I jealous if I agreed to this?”
Let’s talk about the big one: jealousy. It’s probably the most common emotion people struggle with in open relationships, and for good reason. You're human.
You might feel fine theoretically about your partner dating someone else—until they come home glowing from a date, or you see a flirty text on their phone. Suddenly you're spiraling.
That doesn’t mean non-monogamy is wrong for you. It means there’s something deeper to explore.
A sex therapist can help you unpack:
What your jealousy is trying to tell you (often it's about fear of abandonment, not envy itself)
How to differentiate productive jealousy from destructive stories
Ways to self-soothe and communicate your feelings without blame
As one client put it, “I thought I wasn’t cut out for polyamory because I got so jealous. Turns out, I just hadn’t learned how to deal with it yet.”
Boundaries Are Not Just Rules—They’re Acts of Care
In our practice, we hear it a lot:
“We said we were open, but then one of us got hurt because we never defined what that really meant.”
Consent and boundaries are ongoing conversations—not a one-time checklist.
Here are some common boundary questions we work through in sessions:
Are sleepovers okay?
Can you date people we’re both friends with?
Do we share every detail of outside connections—or protect each other’s emotional bandwidth?
What happens if one of us starts developing serious feelings?
Having a therapist facilitate these conversations can help you move past vague ideas like “just be respectful” and get into concrete agreements that reflect both of your needs.
We integrate Chicago couples therapy with sex therapy to create space for both the emotional and erotic parts of these boundaries.
"I Want This, But I’m Afraid They’ll Leave Me"
Opening up a relationship doesn’t always start on equal footing. Sometimes, one partner initiates while the other agrees—partly out of love, partly out of fear.
In therapy, we explore:
How to make sure both partners feel agency—not pressure
What true consent looks like in open relationship dynamics
How to check in regularly and renegotiate if something no longer feels okay
We often remind clients: your relationship can be open and still deeply committed. And it’s okay if what felt good three months ago doesn’t work anymore. Flexibility is part of the process.
Real Talk: It's Not Always Sexy
People often assume open relationships are all about more sex and freedom. Sometimes they are. But they’re also about calendar logistics, emotional check-ins, and doing hard internal work.
One client told us, “Honestly, the most intense part of being open isn’t dating other people—it’s confronting parts of myself I used to avoid.”
That’s the work sex therapy supports. It's not about “fixing” you—it's about helping you show up for yourself and your relationships with more clarity, confidence, and compassion.
How Sex Therapy Can Support You
Whether you're monogamous, exploring, or deeply embedded in a poly network, sex therapy gives you a space to:
Talk about fears without judgment
Make room for all the parts of your identity—sexual, emotional, relational
Learn tools to communicate more clearly, especially around difficult topics
At Embrace Sexual Wellness, our therapists are LGBTQ+ affirming, kink-aware, and experienced in consensual non-monogamy. We get that your relationship may not look like everyone else's—and we think that’s a strength, not a flaw.
Ready to Talk?
Opening up a relationship doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong—it means you’re ready to explore what’s possible. You deserve support that honors your truth.
👉 Book a free consultation with a Chicago sex therapist who gets it. Let’s talk about where you are—and where you want to go.
